Posted in Life & Wellness, Motivational, Positive Thinking

How To Live “Lighter”

 

“Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.” – Carol Burnett

Sometimes, life likes to play difficult for us. There are times when we feel we are always struggling. There are times when we feel we’re always failing, or letting other people down. There are also times when we think we’re doing the right thing, but feel otherwise. And there are those times when we wish the world would stop for a while and just let us breathe (or if you’re like me, you wish you could just magically disappear for a certain period of time until everything is great again!)

Well, that is life- at least a part of it is. But we CAN make it better. We CAN make US feel better.

I would like to share with you seven things that I am trying to live by when I decided to live my life in a more mindful way.

  1. Know your self before you can accept and love yourself.
  2. Forgiveness is not for the person you give it to. It is a gift to yourself.
  3. Gratefulness is what makes a person happy, not the other way around.
  4. Always prioritize people over material things. Material things give instant gratification, but healthy loving relationships give lasting satisfaction and fulfillment.
  5. It is okay to get angry, but always choose to love others and yourself.
  6. Failure doesn’t mean you’re a loser. It means you are trying and learning.
  7. No matter how big your problems may seem to be, always remember that you have a bigger GOD! 🙂

Lighten up! Life can be good.

NinaSig

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Posted in Relationships

Are You Kind At Home?

“No act of kindness no matter how small is ever wasted.”- Aesop

Have you noticed how sometimes,we are nicer to other people than to our family? How often are we more accommodating to our visitors than to our spouses? Why is it that we are more courteous and patient to our bosses than we are to our parents? How come that we speak more gently to colleagues than to our children? This is sad, but it is a reality.

But this can change.

We can start in our own home, with our own family. If our children will grow in an environment where respect and kindness to family members are valued, it will penetrate their being. It will become a part of them.

Why don’t we go back to the basics? Here are some of the important ones that we often neglect or forget.

  • Say the 3 magic words: “I’m Sorry”, “Thank You”, and “I love you”.

Immediately apologize when you hurt someone. Who will not forgive you when you just go ahead and say “I made a mistake, and I’m sorry” then hug them right away?

Be grateful for the service that you get even if what they’re doing are already expected of them. Thank your mom for cooking for you. Thank your dad for driving you to school. Thank your spouse for taking care of your needs. Saying thank you is letting them know they are appreciated and recognized.

Don’t ever get tired of saying I love you and hug at least once a day!… this is a cliche that will always work!

  • Communicate and Talk.

When’s the last time you dated your parents or siblings? When’s the last time you had a heart to heart talk with your children? Be involve in the lives of your family members by knowing what’s going on.

  • Offer to Help or Assist.

When’s the last time we offered to do a house chore that is supposed to be done by someone else?

  • Be generous with Compliments, not with complaints.

Highlight the positives! According to psychology studies, if we want a positive behavior to continue, we can reinforce it with positive motivation- that’s the benefit of giving praises!

  • Do not compare; but Encourage rather.

Comparing a person to another especially if he/she is on the losing end is just a mean thing to do. It crushes down his/her spirit. We should be helping in building healthy self-esteem by providing words of encouragements and affirmation.

We should show kindness in our home everyday, and then extend that kindness outside. When we do, well…just imagine what could happen. ☺

Wishing you all a happy life,

nina-feb1

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Posted in Happy Story, Personal

A Happy Story #4- “Thank You”

I love Sundays. It is our family day.

I remember this one time when we’re on the road…
My hubby was driving and I was at the backseat with my daughter. When it’s only the 3 of us, I like staying at the backseat with my little girl so that I could touch her and look at her when we chat.

Like always, she talks a lot. She talks about the things that she sees around, she talks about the billboards that she sees along the way, and whatever things that cross her mind.

When she gets tired, she lays her head on my arms or lap. One time she did that, I kissed her head. And then she said, “Mommy, thank you for kissing me.”

That moment is one of the happiest moments in my life- knowing that my daughter appreciates how I show my love and care for her. I still get a little emotional sometimes whenever I remember that incident.

How many of us take the time to say “Thank You” for the love and care that we get from family, friends, or colleagues? Sometimes, it is easy to forget- especially if it is “expected” of them or when “we’re used to” being treated as such.

But you know what, it’s a wonderful feeling to be thanked and appreciated. 🙂

I hope to share your story next time. See below how.
Have a great weekend everyone! Remember to bond with people today, and not with technology!

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Did you miss the previous stories? Check them here.                                                                  Inspire someone by sharing your happy story! Here’s how to submit.

Posted in Life & Wellness, Relationships

Get closer. Have a “WE” time.

“If conversation was the lyrics, laughter was the music, making time spent together a melody, that could be replayed over and over without getting stale.” – Nicholas Sparks

If we want to build strong foundation for relationships, we need to set an exclusive time for bonding, and be tenacious in doing it. It has to be constantly and persistently and it could be any activity that you do daily, weekly, or monthly. The key here is to spend time together on a set schedule repeatedly.

I have a graveyard work schedule, and so I sleep during the afternoon. I deliberately choose to sleep in the afternoon because I want to see and welcome my 5-year old daughter back from school. When she takes her nap, I sleep with her but we have this everyday ritual that we call “Cuddle Time”. 🙂

When we’re in bed, we talk, sometimes we sing together or read a book, then we tickle each other, we exchange kisses on the face, and hug-hug-hug a lot! And then we pray and go to sleep.

We do this every single day. WHY? Because this is how we could strengthen our bond as mother & daughter. This is our “WE” time. And this is what I want her to remember when she grows up- the fun & happy times, not those times when I get frustrated at her.

Now it is not enough to just set a time. It is important to be “present” in that exact moment. Don’t do it with your mind elsewhere, otherwise you are not going to enjoy and it loses its significance for you. It will be just like any other routine.

If you want to strengthen your relationship with your spouse, siblings, parents or friends, be intentional in spending “WE” time with them. Do not put other things before your scheduled time of “togetherness” and ALWAYS be mindful of the moment. Be there and be present physically & emotionally!

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Posted in Inspirational, Life & Wellness, Positive Thinking

Let’s Plant Life Seeds!- Seed#2:RELATIONSHIPS

There are 5 things things in life that we know are important, but do not treat with much importance. You see, simply knowing is useless until what we know is applied and manifested in our behavior or actions.

Let me give you 2 simple facts:

1. OUR TIME ON EARTH IS LIMITED. The average life expectancy of a person is 78.8 years according to CDC (Center for Disease Control and Prevention)

2. WHAT YOU PLANT IN YOUR EARLY YEARS, YOU WILL REAP IN YOUR LATER YEARS.

Some people would see our life as a book, and we’re the authors.
For this time, I want us to picture our life as a garden and we’re the gardeners planting the seeds that we will reap later in our life.

Today, let’s talk about the second seed- RELATIONSHIPS. 🙂

relationship-seed“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”- Ephesians 4:2 

 

There are 3 important relationships in our life: Our relationship with our Self. Our relationship with Others. And our relationship to God. IF we’re doing great on all these 3 relationships, I believe  100% that we can truly be happy.

  • Relationship with your Self. 

According to Rick Warren, the author of Purpose Driven Life, there are 2 things that prevents us from reaching our highest potential. Number one is wishing that we are somebody else (perhaps the person that you admire or envy); and number two is people-pleasing (to the extent that we do things that we may not really like to do but do anyways in order to be accepted). Both of these are destructive because it prevents us from accepting our selves as we are!

When you look at the person in the mirror, who do you see?

Do you see the failure or the fighter that keeps going no matter how many times he fell?

Do you see the ugly because you do not fit to the norms of society or the unique person who is confident in his own kind of beautiful?

Do you see the prideful being who cannot let go of past hurts or the forgiving loving person who choose to believe that there is still goodness in others despite negative past experiences?

Be careful what you seed you are nourishing to your self. You become who you think you are. Make your “I AM” positive.

  • Relationship with your Others. 

Do you want to know how you impact your family or friends? Why not try this simple test. Ask yourself: When you’re around them, do they become happier or gloomier or no change at all?

When I like a person, I light up when they’re around me. I feel much happier, I feel inspired, I feel like the best in me comes out.

When I don’t like a person, I don’t hang out with him for too long. Otherwise, I feel like all the positive energies in me are being sapped out and my monster tendency is slowly coming out!

Now there are also times when I’m around people who do not affect me much. They may be around or not and I won’t care- my world continues to revolve.

Obviously, we all want to have that positive impact to others. We all want to be desirable because we affect them in such a way that they become their best. Just like how it is stated in Proverbs 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

But how are we as spouses, partners, parents, sons & daughters, and friends? Do we communicate in a positive tone? Do we deliberately set time to bond and enjoy each others’ company? Do we give enough encouragement and affirmation? Do we give more than we get? Do we seek more to listen and understand rather than set rules and so be it? Are we trusted and reliable friends or are we just friends when we can benefit from the friendship? Do you prioritize people or material things?

We all want to be successful, but it’s also important to consider who you will be celebrating your life’s successes with! Nourish your Relationship seeds. You will be grateful for it later in life.

  • Relationship with God. 

I am in my mid-30’s and it is embarrassing for me to admit that I have not read the whole Bible. I know that having a deeper spiritual relationship with God is knowing Him more. And the only way for me to get to know Him is to read other people’s account of Him thru the Scriptures.

Like many others, I know about God, but I did not know Him. I’m still a baby in my walk as a Christian. But I’m trying to have this closer relationship with Him now. I still fail most of the time, God is very patient with me. I delight in knowing that He’s mg Father and He loves me and He’s always just a prayer away. (Isn’t it amazing how we can just talk to Him whenever we want, wherever we want?)

Because I know that God loves me, I can love myself and accept even my undesirable traits.
Because I know that God loves me at my darkest, it is easier for me to love, understand and forgive others.

Get to know God. I know you will like Him a lot! 🙂

nina-feb

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Did you missed the First Seed? Read it here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Inspirational, Life & Wellness, Relationships

Oldies but Goodies!

Hello Everyone,

This week is a very busy week for me. It’s my daughter’s quarter exam week at school, my mom’s here with us for a visit, and it’s the time at work again when I have to do my month-end reports…

Anyways, I still don’t want to leave you guys with nothing on my blog. So here are some of my older posts (written during my first months of blogging) that I would like to share with you again especially that it fits my theme for this month of February. Enjoy!…and I am still  interested on what think of the posts 🙂

nina-feb

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Posted in Life & Wellness, Relationships

Relationship Drifts

“The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.”- Audrey Hepburn

When we talk about broken or failed relationships, what comes to mind first is that someone probably cheated. And then there are the other reasons such as incompatibility or irreconcilable differences; physical or verbal abuse; possessiveness, jealousy, & trust-issues that lead to fighting, etc.

But I tell you what, there is another MAJOR culprit why relationships fail. I would bet that this one probably have not cross the minds of most of us because unlike the reasons mentioned earlier, this particular one is not obvious. It works like a cancer- you’ll only realize that you have it when you’re already experiencing the damage on the relationship. Most often than not, either it is too late, or it will require a “major treatment” for the relationship to be restored.

This silent relationship-killer I am talking about is called Relationship Drift. It is like people staying on different boats that are slowly being drifted away by the water current. If they don’t exert effort to paddle and stay close together, the boats will be separated away from each other.

The sad thing is that Relationship Drifts don’t just happen overnight. It’s a long on-going process that we fail to notice and it could happen to any relationship. It could be between spouses, parents and children, in-laws, and friends. It’s when we lose spark or interest to one another. This is when conversations are no longer interesting or on a deeper level. It is when we no longer miss the other person. It is when we no longer care what the other person is doing. It is when we no longer care what they think or feel about us. It is when we no longer feel anything or when we become indifferent.

I would like to think that drifts in relationships is brought about by the absence of 3-A’s: Affection, Attention, and Affirmation. And so to avoid it, we need to ensure that we always have these 3-A’s present in our relationships.

  • Affection.
    When we love someone, we have to show them our affection. Love is not just a word or a feeling. There has to be an action. Kissing and hugging are most popular, but there are other ways too. We can give simple gifts, tap on the shoulder, helping out, or even calling or texting just to say you’re thinking of the person or you appreciate something that he or she did for you.
  • Attention.
    Set a time to bond. Try to schedule separate dates with your spouses or partner, children, in-laws and friends. Be mindful of the moment and communicate. Share your thoughts and experiences. Ask how each other is doing, and be interested to not only what’s happening in their lives, but also with their dreams and aspirations. Celebrate a lot- not just birthdays and holidays. Make reasons for celebrations like when your son top the exam or your daughter learned to play a new instrument. Creating moments with your loved ones is what makes a great relationship.
  • Affirmation.
    We need to show encouragement and support when needed. Even if we don’t feel like doing it, we have to let people feel and believe that we will always be here for them. The lack of assurance that you will be there no matter what cripples relationships. Being said that, let’s try hard not to judge but be understanding even if we do not tolerate a certain behavior. Good and open communication is always a key.

I know that doing all these is not easy. It is hard and that is why most relationships don’t work out. Trust me when I say that it is better to work hard now, than suffer and regret the consequences of not having to do all these later.

Happy weekend everybody! May God bless the relationships in your lives!

nina-signature

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