Posted in Inspirational, Life & Wellness, Positive Thinking

5 Ways to Love Yourself More

“If you don’t love yourself in the right way, you can’t love your neighbor. You can’t be as good as you are supposed to be.”-Joel Osteen

  • I want you to imagine how you would like someone to love you… For sure, you’d want them to accept you whole-heartedly. You’d want them to affirm you, to be proud of your accomplishments, and to push you to continue to grow and be a better person. You’d want them to forgive you and give you another chance. You’d want them to tell you how beautiful a person you are. And definitely, you don’t want them to drag you down with their negativities. Wouldn’t it be nice if there is someone who could do that? What if I tell you there is- and has always been there. Yes, you guess it- I am referring to YOU.

I could give you 3 reasons why we must love ourselves.

  • Because God loves us as His sons and daughters, and we are beautiful in our own unique way.
  • Because we are able to love more, and share the best of our selves when we are at our best .
  • Because we only have one Self- so why not treat it the best we can, right?

Here are 5 Ways that we could love ourselves:

1. Greet yourself with happiness & affection.
When you wake up each day and look in the mirror, smile at the person who’s looking straight back at you. Tell him or her “Gosh, you’re so gorgeous today! You’re going to have a wonderful day and you’ll do great!”
When you put your mindset in a positive state at the start of your day, you’re attracting positive energies and you will most likely feel nicer and experience a good day.

2. Be compassionate with your self.
Don’t be too harsh or critical to your self. If you fail on a certain task, it’s okay (unless somebody else dies because of it, which I highly doubt!). Treat each mistake as lesson to be learned. If right now, all you can see are the negatives in you- switch your lens and review the things that you did right and the things you did that ýmade other people happy.

When I’m starting to hate myself for feeling like I am not being a good mom because I stay late in the office, I do a flashback and recall the other good things that I did or do- like teaching and guiding Gaby in her assignments, spending some time playing and just having fun with her before I put her to sleep in the afternoon, cooking her new meals, etc… This is not a way to justify a certain action but rather, it’s being mindful of our imperfect human condition and having that understanding with ourselves.

According to science research, “Self-compassionate people are better able to accept who they are regardless of the degree of praise they receive from others. In addition, people who are high in self-compassion are no more likely to be narcissistic than people low in self-compassion.”

3. Nurture your self & your need.
Nurturing ourselves means taking care of ourselves by attending to our needs, in order to be healthy in the different aspects of our well-being.
For instance, if your body is shouting for help physically- then make the effort to exercise, get 8 hours sleep & drink plenty of water. If your mind keeps bothering you because it needs upgrading- then learn new skills or improve what you already know. Enroll or have someone teach you to do things that you are passionate about. If your soul is crying for help- seek to have a deeper relationship with God, meditate, love and serve other people, show more kindness to others.

4. Set your boundaries.
Don’t let emotional vampires take advantage of you and drag you down in their spiraling hole of negativities. As much as possible, avoid surrounding yourself with people who constantly whine, people who are best in blaming others or situations, and people who cannot take accountability. Be with the ones with lighter dispositions and those who you would like yourself to be associated with. As the old saying goes, “birds of the same feathers flock together.”

Learn to say No. It is not your job to say yes to every favor asked of you. Know that not because everybody else do it does it mean that you have to. Just remember that whenever you say Yes to others, you are not saying No to yourself.

5. Invest yourself in happy relationships.
Are your relationships giving you ùpositive influence? They should be providing you a sense of self-worth, self-fulfillment, and self-assurance. Involve yourself in happy relationships that allow you to be you without being judged. Choose to be in relationships where you and the others in it are growing in love!

Make it your business to love your Self first. I agree with the person who  said that “you are so worth your time and attention“. Besides, it will be easier for you to love others and for others to love you when you do love your own Self. 🙂

nina-feb

Photo Source

Posted in Inspirational, Life & Wellness, Positive Thinking, Psychology

Live Light. Live Mighty.

Today, I want to share with you 2 great life lessons that I personally believe would make a difference in the way we view life and the world around us, IF only we live by them.

Lesson #1: FORGIVE YOURSELF AND FORGIVE OTHERS

“Forgiveness is the best form of love. It takes a strong person to say sorry, and an even stronger person to forgive.”- Anonymous

Forgive yourself for the wrong choices and decisions you’ve made,  for not being good enough, for not being open, for not trying harder, for not reaching out. Forgive yourself for your failures and for the things that you did not do.

Forgive others for hurting you, for not appreciating you, for taking advantage of you, and for the wrong things done to you.

Not many people realize that when we forgive, we do ourselves favor. Forgiveness liberates us from the negative emotions that consume us. It frees us from anger, hatred and regrets. Forgiveness gives us peace and enables us to move forward.

 

Lesson #2: SEEK SIGNIFICANCE, NOT MATERIAL WEALTH

“Do the things that come from the heart. When you do, you won’t be dissatisfied…”– Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie.
When we die, we cannot bring our wealth with us. Our fame will eventually be forgotten. Our achievements will soon mean nothing. But what we will be remembered for are the things that we did to and for other people. How we made them feel. How we gave a part of ourselves to them.

So invest in people. Share your time. Be concern and compassionate. Nourish and dig deeper your relationships with your friends and family. Make it your purpose to share what you can give to the people around you.

I have not experienced dying, but I know that I would go happy and peacefully when I will have people who loves me in my deathbed. I would not trade that to any treasure in the world.
Choose LOVE over hate.
Choose KINDNESS over greed.
Choose FORGIVENESS over hatred.
Choose to be HAPPY by making the world around you happy. 🙂

(photo source)


Date Written: June 16, 2016

Posted in Life & Wellness, Motivational, Positive Thinking, Psychology

3 Steps to End LONELINESS

When we have a problem and feel as though our life is falling apart, our tendency is to “escape” from the miserable state that we’re at- and most often than not, we resolve to the quick fixes that are also self-destructive at some point: We drink. We party like hell in the company of people who more or less do not care about what’s going on with your life. We take drugs to forget or have sex with strangers. But guess what– the next day, YOUR PROBLEM IS STILL THERE because these quick fixes are not really the solutions but a temporary escape from your reality.

Just recently, I was able to listen attentively to Jason Mraz’ song “Three Things” and I thought, Wow! This is exactly how we should deal with the downsides in our lives.

 

“Number one, I cry my eyes out and dry up my heart.”

cry

Yes, crying is a cathartic release. It purges us of our massive feeling of loneliness. I personally believe that it is important to first empty ourselves with the heartaches before we could move on.

 

“The second thing I do… say my thank-you’s for each and every moment of my life. I go where I know the love is and let it fill me up inside…”

Not many of us realize but it is also important to contemplate on our lives. We get to analyze what went well and what went wrong…being said that, we should not fix our focus only the to the bad experience and the bad feeling that it brings- but more importantly, what lesson do we get from it.

friendsSurrounding ourselves with the people who cares for us also helps us get through the difficulties of life. If we are alone and we are lonely, we get lonelier because we do not have another person to encourage us and share the burden. Other people may not necessarily provide the solutions, but they give us the emotional support that is much needed. They strengthen us by letting us feel loved and valued.

 

“The third thing that I do…I pause, I take a breath,…and I let that chapter end.”

pastWe should let go of the failures and hurts in our past, and move on with our lives. Contrary to what others believe in, your past do not determine your future. You future is determined by the choices that you make…and it is your choice to be happy. SO CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY.

 

(Photo credits: Google, Video credits: YouTube)


Date Written: May 30, 2016

Posted in Happy Story, Personal

A Happy Story #3-I Hate Her No More…

Sharer: Benjamin – Project Believe in Yourself

Hello Everyone,

Our sharer today is a good buddy of mine from PBIY (Project Believe In Yourself). I actually asked him to share after watching  his YouTube video. I hope that you’ll find inspiration from his story. 🙂

Thank you Benjamin for sharing with us your story. I wish only the best for your projects! 

Hey Champs! Hope you’re doing good!

This will be a summarized story, of my experience in a relationship of 6 years (4 officially, with 2 years of friendship before getting together) with my ex-gf, who’s also my first love (I was hers too, aww ain’t that sweet? XD) and before I go on, I just want to make one thing clear:

Things may have ended badly between us but I sincerely, wholeheartedly, do not hate her for leaving me and making me go through the things I did. Not anymore.

Some of you may think I’m a dumbass for this (Hell, even I do think that I am lol!) but instead of hating her, I actually feel gratitude towards her.

Why? Simply because she taught and showed me the concept of love (Romantically) and even what’s it like to be truly in love with someone.

She taught me what love can be in the form of affection and attention which you’d only see in TV, movies and fairy tales.
She even gave me the experiences which I’ve never known anyone to have gone through before as well. Needless to say, I know I did the same for her.
We shared lots of moments when we told each other we couldn’t believe we’re actually together. Btw, it was a Long Distance Relationship. I’m from Asia and she’s from Europe. Anyway-

We both had our good and bad sides but if you take away the fights we had?
We were perfect for each other like literally, we shared so many common interests, perspectives in life, moral stands and we both even shared the same idea of only having just one partner in life and then getting together and settling down.
Just be each other’s only one. How sweet was that, right? 😉

When we were both together, in the years back then- Yes, we may have fights and all but seriously, which couple don’t fight?
Besides, I had some of the happiest days in my life and that statement stays true even today. So I just want you, or her, if she has somehow managed to find this article- to know that I don’t hate her no more. I used to but not anymore. Instead-

I love her for the time and love she’s given me during the years we were together. I loved giving her all my affection, time and efforts in making her feel like the happiest girl alive.

I wholeheartedly love all the lessons and adventures we’ve been through together.
They were fantabulous. I thank her for taking up my offer to come into my world when I told her to (I didn’t ask her to be my gf then, I told her to be and she said yes lol! Isn’t she an amazing gal? XD- P.S. I’m amazing for suggesting it too).

It was an absolutely magical carpet ride- A whole new world for us both and like in a Disney movie, truly out of the world. (Got the reference? High-5!)

Our life experiences together were one of a kind. (Which I’m sure, you and your special one is too)

Funny thing is, there’s this song by Green Day (One of my FAVORITE Rock Band) which I’ve always loved the melody to but never truly understood the lyrics nor why Billie Joe (The Vocalist) was so teared up while playing this song live (In the show I saw on video)-  Until I’ve experienced my own break up and accidentally playing it while going through my old song library on iTunes and let it play till it finished.
I’ve always enjoyed the song with a smile because of the melody while listening but this time, something else happened.

It got me tearing up like Billie Joe. The melody and lyrics hit me hard like a train, pulling all sorts of emotions out of me as I started reliving the beautiful past that I know, will never ever come back nor be reliving ever again.

You might’ve heard of this one as well. It’s called “Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)”.

Listen to the song here –> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bTdLi0YUVM

This song to me, its mainly written over the loss of a lover in your life.

Billie Joe wrote it during the period when his girlfriend at the time was leaving him but when we really look at the lyrics, somehow you see that it’s about life in general and everything that’s in it. Not just relationships.

When I heard the song after the fateful break up, that’s when I realize that this song is filled with lines of everlasting wisdom.

“Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road. Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.”

There will be times when we reach a point in our life where we’re stuck- like a fork in the road, unsure where to go nor what to do next. This might also be the moment when you just stay stuck until time drags you along somewhere. You are not alone, we all go through this one, champ. Stay strong.

“So make the best of this test and don’t ask why.”

I’m sure you can relate already. When we go through an extremely dark period of our life, we often ask ourselves and everyone around us, perhaps even God “Why did this happen? Why is this happening to me?”

But we never get the answer because “It’s not a question but a lesson learned in time.”

There are things in life which we’ll only get the answers to as we live and gain experience with time. When something like this happens, we don’t ask “Why” but just learn from it because the knowledge we gain from it will be for life and it can be used for a bigger purpose such as changing someone else’s life for the better. But ultimately, we must never forget that it can be used to change our own life for the better.

“So take the photographs and still frames in your mind, hang it on a shelf in good health and good time.”
“Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial. For what it’s worth, it was worth all the while.”

What I’ve been saying. Memories are something we need to hold onto not only because they are precious moments of your life, but also because they can get you through a lot of things in life and make you realize that “For what it’s worth it was worth all the while.”

You’ve gained so much from them and they are forever yours to keep and reflect upon whenever you need or wish to!

In the end, life itself “It’s something unpredictable but in the end is right.”

There are times when we can control it, there times we can’t. In the end, no matter what happens, it’ll be alright. After the curtain falls, when everything is all over?

“I hope you had the time of your life.”

We all had fun, we’ve suffered through thick and thin together, conquering obstacles and life challenges that came our way and it all ends here and I want you to know now- I’ve had the time of my life doing all those things, experiencing life with you.

So again, thank you, my dear ex-sweetheart. I’m honestly writing this with a smile (Albeit, a bitter sweet feeling in my heart!). If you are reading this, I want you to know that I will never forget you. And I hope you had the time of your life with me and are still having a blast in life right now 😉

If you have recently gone through a heartbreak yourself, or are still trying to get over someone or seeking closure- Understand that you will only find peace after you’re able to see a life ahead without the person who’s leaving you or have left you, being a part of it.

Seems impossible but know that life isn’t over with this person gone. In fact, it’s just the beginning!

I know (SHE was MY LIFE so yeah, I know lol!), it’s hard to see and envision a future like that but in time, and with SUPPORT– You will be walking on the path towards your next chapter in life and it WILL be a brighter and happier chapter in your life’s story 😉

I was there. I had so much negative feelings towards her back then when the breakup happened. I hated her then.
But when I realized that the reason to why I hated her so much- Was because I loved her so much? I started asking myself if I’m being fair to her and myself? Was I being fair to our relationship?

Why did I choose to take away all the beautiful moments we shared together?

Just because she’s leaving, I’m going to convince myself to live my life as if we’ve never met and the past which we’ve spent our lives together- It never happened? And I didn’t learn nor gain anything from it?

Well I can do that- IT WAS what I was doing, which obviously isn’t very healthy for me lol.

OR-

I can instead, cherish everything that we did. Everything that we had.
Everything we gave to each other and accept the fact that even though we won’t be getting anything more from each other, we will forever be keeping whatever we’ve given to each other. She gave me all her love just as how I gave her all of mine.

She may be gone and will not be giving any more but it’s okayIt’s okay.

Just like how my friends’ and families’ love that’s being invested in me, her love and mine? It’s all in both our hearts and memories now. And really, that’s okay.

I actually thought of burning all the letters etc she’s given me (Quite a number. LDR, remember?) but in the end, I decided not to because she was a part of my life. I loved that part of my life. I loved her. So much. Okay tearing up lol but it’s all good my friend.

It’s just the moment. Who knows? Perhaps one day I might really have to burn it all because I need to make space for more letters or something in future lol!

There’s so much more into the story but I shall end it here. I sincerely hope you’ve enjoyed reading this and actually learned something from it!

Seriously, I hate you and Nina for making me go through this walk down memory lane (Lol just kidding haha!) but I think stories like this- It’s good for the soul. Both yours and mine 😉

Okay so before I get going, I just wanna say that if you’re currently going through a difficult time in your life and feel that you need someone to talk to?
You can always email me via doubleyourpresence@gmail.com and share it with me.
I’d love to listen to what you have to talk about.
As I recently started telling ppl on WP these days
“Listening, can do wonders for a damaged soul. Even heal them.”
So share if you feel the need to!

Alternatively, if you want to find similar people such as yourself (Or me lol), with a genuine and sincere heart of helping?
Feel free to check out my blog for our Project BIY and learn more about our mission in making a positive difference in life! If you wish to contribute as well, definitely check in with us!

We’re a new community that’s aiming bring the beautiful side of the human spirit to the world and we’d love to have you join us if you do share our mission and vision of a better world 😉

We got a new forum that’s currently still in it’s testing phase (During the time this article is written anyway) and we’d be excited to have you join in the test if you are keen to as well!
Head on over to meet everyone who’s helping with the test over there!
We got a chatroom installed at the bottom of the forum too 😉

Let the kind souls unite and may you keep rocking your world!

Photo Source


Did you miss the previous stories? Check them here.                                                                  Inspire someone by sharing your happy story! Here’s how to submit.

Posted in Blogging

A Blog Worth Sharing #3- THAT GEEK THERE who writes

Hello Everyone! 🙂

I am really excited to share with you another blog that I’ve just recently discovered. I like that the Author can write poetry and sensible posts. I have enjoyed his fun blog and now I’m having a hard time choosing which among his posts I’m going to share with you today, and so I’ve decided to share 2 posts!

I’m sure that you’re going to love this Geek who writes after reading them. I recommend that you visit his blog because there’s more to enjoy there!

To That Geek There who writes…THANK YOU FOR WRITING! 🙂

 

That Geek.JPG

Blog Name: THAT GEEK THERE who writes
Posts Title: Don’t Fall In Love [Poem]
                      5 Times When You Can Definitely Say “My Mom Is The Best”


Did you miss the previous blogs? Click here.

Posted in Life & Wellness, Psychology, Relationships

3 Questions for a Happier Family

“What greater thing is there for human souls than to feel that they are joined for life – to be with each other in silent unspeakable memories.” – George Eliot

Hello Everyone!

I know that every one of us desires to have a family where everybody are in a good terms with each other. The thing is no family is ever perfect. Every once in a while, we get mad at each other, we fight, and we say things (we often do not mean) to hurt each other. But the good thing is we can always do something to improve our relationship with everyone in the family.

When you get the chance to sit down and talk to your spouse, partner, children, or siblings today- I would like to encourage  you to ask them these questions (I learned these questions from a conference that I and my hubby attended together):

  1. Is there anything that you need from me that you have not gotten yet? 

  2. Is there anything that I have done to hurt your feelings that I need to apologize for?

  3. What can I do to be a better Spouse/Partner/Mother/Father/Brother/Sister to you?

If we ask these questions more often, and make sure that we act on them, I can guarantee you that it will make a difference in our relationship with our family. 🙂

Happy weekend everyone! Make sure to squeeze in your schedule some quality family time!

Photo Source


Date Written: July 31, 2016

Posted in Blogging

A Blog Worth Sharing #2- Gentlemen Project

Hello! 🙂

I came across another amazing blog again today that I really feel is worth sharing.

Before you continue and read the post that I picked, I want you to answer this question: How do you choose THE ONE for you?

K.Lamb has the perfect answer for this! I hope you will learn a lot from this post (especially our male readers) and enjoy at the same time.

Thank you K.Lamb for your excellent blog! 🙂

Gentlemen Project

Blog Name: GentlemenProject
Post Title: How To Wait For The One

 

(Featured Image: Source)

Posted in Blogging

A Blog Worth Sharing # 1- Dear Dad

Hello! 🙂

I’ve recently came across this beautiful blog, and there is one post that really captured my heart. I would like to share it with you all.

This blog is very honest, heart-warming, inspirational, and just full of gratitude and life.

I hope that you will also find inspiration and motivation from this post.

Thank you Hayley for your wonderful blog! 🙂

Dear Dad.JPG

Blog Name: Dear Dad
Post Title: Deep Holes from the Sidewalk

(Featured Image: Source)

Posted in Positive Thinking, Psychology, Relationships

The Emotional Bank Account

I strongly believe that it is important to invest positivity (such as love, acceptance, recognition, warmth, motivation, respect and the like) to people, so that during the times when we fall short and hurt them- intentionally and unintentionally- they will not leave or feel belittled because it will not hurt them as much compared to when there is no positivity that are given previously.

It’s like having an emotional bank account— we should deposit more of the positives like love, encouragement, and recognition or reward,  so that when we get angry or frustrated (withdraw some of it), there’s still enough of the positives left. =)


Date Written: May 25, 2016