Posted in Life & Wellness, Relationships

It’s all about RELATIONSHIP

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is LOVE.”               – 1 Corinthians 13:13

Do you want a happy life? A life worth living? A life that is enjoyable? A life that is meaningful?… I tell you what. YOU CAN HAVE IT!

How? By nurturing and growing your relationships. Take great care of them more than you care for your expensive car or jewelries. The other areas of your life like your finances or health could suffer, and you could still be happy- I’ve seen poor people who are happy because they have such close family relationships and good friends. I know people who are sick but are happy because they have people who love and care for them…but I’ve never seen or known someone who’s truly happy living alone for himself.

We need people to satisfy our need to feel safe, to feel that we belong, and to build our self-esteem.

Here are 3 things that will help make relationships better:
1. Say “Thank You”- never keep your gratitude to yourself. say it to people who deserve to be thanked. Say thank you for the fun time, for the good meal cooked for you, for the great conversation, for the encouraging word, for the gestures of love…for the simplest or even the corniest reason.

2. Say “I’m Sorry”- apologize when you did something wrong even if it wasn’t intended. Admit your fault and just say sorry that you made a mistake. And sometimes, even if it’s not your fault, you still apologize. People who care more for the person and the relationship apologize first because caring and loving comes first to being righteous. Pride will give you nothing but a cold lonely heart.

3. Say “I love You”- Do not get tired of saying this everyday. Say it to your spouses/partners, children, parents, siblings, friends…fill-up your love tank. No one dies of love-overdose. This is something a person could get as much as he or she wants. And the good thing is that this is FREE. So give as much as you could and it’ll come back to you doubled or tripled!

If you want a happy life, have happy relationships- with God, with others & with yourself! 🙂

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Written on: October 21, 2016

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Posted in Life & Wellness, Relationships

What I Want to Be?

To love and be loved is the greatest happiness of existence.” – Sydney Smith

I’ve recently thought of a goal for myself that I definitely think would help make a huge difference and impact in my life.

I want to be a GREAT LOVER. (Before I go further, let me just make it clear that I didn’t mean that in the physical context.)

Yes. I want to be a great lover- not on my mind. Not on my heart. But on my ACTIONS.

I don’t know about you, but I’ll be honest. I’m one of those people who say “I love you”, but my actions sometimes fall short of the word.

I want to be a great lover to my husband.
This would mean that I should learn to listen more in times of arguments, and control my temper & not burst out “I hate you” every time we fight.
This would mean that I should be more understanding and forgiving of his shortcomings, and less of the “I told so…”
This would mean that I should show him more appreciation and, and I should be more caring to him.

I want to be a great lover to my daughter.
This would mean that I should lessen my disciplining, and be more of an encourager.
This would mean that I should be more available when she needs me and less with “can’t you see I’m doing something?” or “Mommy is busy right now…”
This would mean more play time, more story-telling, more reading together, more bonding moments.

I want to be a great lover to my parents.
Let’s face it, they’re getting older. The more that we should be intentional in spending time with them. I’m lucky I grew up close to my parents and didn’t have any unresolved conflicts with them. But if you are one who’s not in speaking terms with your folks right now, I encourage you to forgive and sort things out. Do that, and let me know if it will not make you feel better.

I want to be a great lover to my siblings.
It’s difficult when you and your siblings have their own family, living their own lives. But I want mine to know and feel that they could always reach out to me by me reaching out to them first.

I want to be a great lover to Other People.
I can do this by being more patient with them, and by always choosing to see the good in them despite the wrong-doings.
I will chose to respect them, to care, and pray for them.

These may seem pretty tough, but I don’t think they’re impossible to do. The key word is to be INTENTIONAL. And the only way to do it is to act like it every single day. So, wish me luck, okay? 🙂

P.S. You might want to do the same and let’s improve at being a great lover together !

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Posted in Motivational, Positive Thinking, Relationships

To be Happy, Let Go!

“Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.”– Deborah Reber

For most people, happiness is achieved by gaining something. It could be a reward, an achievement, a recognition, a relationship, or a pleasant experience. Some of us fail to realize that becoming happy may also mean letting go of things, or to some extent, even people.

Sometimes, it is difficult for us to detach ourselves from people especially if we’ve invested in them, and treated them as friends and family. However in reality, there are people who, instead of being grateful that they are valued and cared for, take advantage of the kindness of others.

It is painful and not easy to let go especially if we care about the person, but this is one thing that we need to learn in order to be happy.

We should set the standard of how we like people to treat us. If we allow them to take advantage of us, they will continue to do so. But if we set boundaries, they will learn to respect us.

Don’t be afraid to be honest and let people know how you feel about them. Don’t be shy to say “No” when you feel that you’re being used and abused. Don’t be scared to lose people in your life if you know in your heart that they do not value you or respect you as a person. You owe it to yourself to not allow other people to drag you down.

Remember that forgiving and understanding others do not mean that we have to tolerate their behavior. If you want to be happy, distance yourself from the people who makes you feel sad. You may be surprised how liberating it will make you feel.

NinaSig

Posted in Relationships

Are You Kind At Home?

“No act of kindness no matter how small is ever wasted.”- Aesop

Have you noticed how sometimes,we are nicer to other people than to our family? How often are we more accommodating to our visitors than to our spouses? Why is it that we are more courteous and patient to our bosses than we are to our parents? How come that we speak more gently to colleagues than to our children? This is sad, but it is a reality.

But this can change.

We can start in our own home, with our own family. If our children will grow in an environment where respect and kindness to family members are valued, it will penetrate their being. It will become a part of them.

Why don’t we go back to the basics? Here are some of the important ones that we often neglect or forget.

  • Say the 3 magic words: “I’m Sorry”, “Thank You”, and “I love you”.

Immediately apologize when you hurt someone. Who will not forgive you when you just go ahead and say “I made a mistake, and I’m sorry” then hug them right away?

Be grateful for the service that you get even if what they’re doing are already expected of them. Thank your mom for cooking for you. Thank your dad for driving you to school. Thank your spouse for taking care of your needs. Saying thank you is letting them know they are appreciated and recognized.

Don’t ever get tired of saying I love you and hug at least once a day!… this is a cliche that will always work!

  • Communicate and Talk.

When’s the last time you dated your parents or siblings? When’s the last time you had a heart to heart talk with your children? Be involve in the lives of your family members by knowing what’s going on.

  • Offer to Help or Assist.

When’s the last time we offered to do a house chore that is supposed to be done by someone else?

  • Be generous with Compliments, not with complaints.

Highlight the positives! According to psychology studies, if we want a positive behavior to continue, we can reinforce it with positive motivation- that’s the benefit of giving praises!

  • Do not compare; but Encourage rather.

Comparing a person to another especially if he/she is on the losing end is just a mean thing to do. It crushes down his/her spirit. We should be helping in building healthy self-esteem by providing words of encouragements and affirmation.

We should show kindness in our home everyday, and then extend that kindness outside. When we do, well…just imagine what could happen. ☺

Wishing you all a happy life,

nina-feb1

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Posted in Life & Wellness, Relationships

Get closer. Have a “WE” time.

“If conversation was the lyrics, laughter was the music, making time spent together a melody, that could be replayed over and over without getting stale.” – Nicholas Sparks

If we want to build strong foundation for relationships, we need to set an exclusive time for bonding, and be tenacious in doing it. It has to be constantly and persistently and it could be any activity that you do daily, weekly, or monthly. The key here is to spend time together on a set schedule repeatedly.

I have a graveyard work schedule, and so I sleep during the afternoon. I deliberately choose to sleep in the afternoon because I want to see and welcome my 5-year old daughter back from school. When she takes her nap, I sleep with her but we have this everyday ritual that we call “Cuddle Time”. 🙂

When we’re in bed, we talk, sometimes we sing together or read a book, then we tickle each other, we exchange kisses on the face, and hug-hug-hug a lot! And then we pray and go to sleep.

We do this every single day. WHY? Because this is how we could strengthen our bond as mother & daughter. This is our “WE” time. And this is what I want her to remember when she grows up- the fun & happy times, not those times when I get frustrated at her.

Now it is not enough to just set a time. It is important to be “present” in that exact moment. Don’t do it with your mind elsewhere, otherwise you are not going to enjoy and it loses its significance for you. It will be just like any other routine.

If you want to strengthen your relationship with your spouse, siblings, parents or friends, be intentional in spending “WE” time with them. Do not put other things before your scheduled time of “togetherness” and ALWAYS be mindful of the moment. Be there and be present physically & emotionally!

(photo source)

Posted in Life & Wellness, Positive Thinking, Relationships

Let’s Make Wonders!

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”- Leo Buscaglia

Hello Everyone!

Why don’t we start this week by spreading good vibes? Let’s try these simple and very easy steps on how we can share a bit of happiness to someone else’s day today.

1. Smile. 🙂
Sharing your good natured smile would tell others that you are a caring person.  It can brighten up anybody’s otherwise cloudy day. Besides, smiling is one of the best beauty remedies. Anyone who wears a smile becomes more good-looking! 🙂

2.Take time to compliment.
A genuine compliment shows that you pay attention to other people’s efforts and strength. Who would not appreciate one? Just be careful that you are not giving false flattery.

3. Listen.
It’s also nice to just listen from people. When they share great news, celebrate with them. Avoid the urge to share your own good news right away. Let them enjoy “their” moment.
If someone vents out frustrations, he or she may not necessarily be looking for advice, but just need someone to listen. So just listen. They will surely appreciate it.

4. Hug or Give a Pat on the Back.
These gestures when done appropriately is uplifting and could really boost the spirit. Sometimes, touch is even more effective than words.

5. Do a good deed.
As simple as opening a door for someone, picking up someone’s pen or book, or offering to make the coffee could already put a smile on someone else’s face.

As William Hazlitt said, “A gentle word, a kind look, a good-natured smile can work wonders and accomplish miracles.” So let’s go ahead and start making wonders! 🙂

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Date Written: July 25, 2016

Posted in Life & Wellness, Psychology, Relationships

Relationships Matter

According to studies, one of the things that makes a good life is having good relationship with other people. Being in a warm, loving, and protective relationship does not only make us happier, but it also makes us healthier because it helps prevent us from acquiring chronic diseases that are caused by loneliness and stress.

However, not all relationships are healthy and happy. They could be messy, complicated, or even toxic. Good relationships are not worked out overnight. They need to be tended in order to flourish.

Here are some tips to develop good quality relationships:
1. Communicate– express what you think and feel. Do not assume that other people could read what’s on your mind. Not all people are expert on body language so it’s best to communicate verbally, otherwise you risk being misinterpreted or worse, being unnoticed.

2.Acknowledge– show that you appreciate your partners, children or friends. There is no such thing as silent gratitude. You have to let people know when they did something that made you happy. It will not only reinforce good behavior, but more importantly, they will feel valued and worthy. So catch them at their best and be generous in giving well-deserved praises!

3.Do not Police– Don’t wait for other people to commit mistakes and reprimand like a police officer. If you care about the person, let them be aware of their destructive behavior before it gets worse. This will show them that you care.

4. Accept– Accept that other people are not perfect and so are you. There will always be instances when they could hurt you, or YOU HURT THEM. But always remember that you love them more! So be quick to say sorry and to forgive, and always remind yourself to forget!

5.Be Playful– Do not take things too seriously. When I was in college, I had this mantra for myself: “All problems have solutions. If it doesn’t have a solution, it’s not a problem! So I will not bother…” Learn to laugh at your mistakes and have fun in each other’s company!

People are special. We all need to feel that we are special so let’s start treating each other one! 🙂

(photo source)


Written on: June 07, 2016