Posted in Inspirational

What My Anger Taught Me

“When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.”- Mark Twain

Anger is probably one of the most often experienced emotion. I will be the first to admit that there are times when it’s just too difficult not to give in to feeling angry, especially if the source of anger is someone or something that you care about.

Just recently, I was angry and I felt like the intensity of my anger is something I have not felt or  experienced for a very long time. During one of my quiet moments, I was able to contemplate and here are the realizations that I came up with:

  • A person who hates is a person who is hurting. 

I was angry at someone because I felt like she was being disrespectful, taking advantage, and abusive. At first I was disappointed and annoyed, but my feelings eventually became hatred. I realized it is because I was hurting- because that person is someone that I care about. If somebody hates you, perhaps it’s because they care deeply about you and even they may just don’t realize it themselves.

  • Anger is a reaction, and not a response to the problem.

I could be angry for as long as I want but it will not resolve anything until I deal with the issue. Confrontation is something that we all feel dreadful about, and we would like to avoid it as much as we could.

However, if we want to free ourselves from anger, we need to talk to the person, settle the issue and reconcile. We may agree to disagree, but at least straighten things out.

It is also good to remember that we are angry at what they did and not at them. “I am angry at what you did” is not the same as “I am angry at you.”

  • Anger evoke other negative emotions.

If we allow our anger to linger longer, it will stimulate more negative emotions on us. We become more irritable, impatient, annoyed, resentful, ill-humored, pique… Its no wonder our anger feels heavier with each passing day.

  • An angry person tends to be more subjective than objective.

When we’re angry, we lack focus. Our heightened emotion clouds our judgment. All we see is the wrong and the bad. We seldom empathize with the other party.

  • We need others to improve and be better.

I am lucky that I have a husband who lets me know when I am not sensible anymore. He helps me realize how my pride is somehow affecting the way I am interpreting situations. He is the one who assists me in analyzing the root cause of my anger. It pains to admit but we need other people who do not patronize us. We need other people who could tell us straight when something we do is not right anymore. How can we improve or get better otherwise? It’ll be like us doing surgery to ourselves without a mirror.

It is okay to be angry. Even happy people gets angry. Just know when to let it go before it burns you and the people you care for!

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Posted in Inspirational

My God is Awesome!

My faith as a Christian is not about Religion. For me, it is the relationship that I have with my God.

Let me share with you 5 things that I am very happy for being a Christian- or rather, 5 things that love about my God. 🙂

1. My God loves me and wants me to have eternal life with Him.

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”- John 3:16

2. My God is a loving God who commands me to love not only Him but others too, including my enemies.

“But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because He is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.”- Luke 6:35

3. My God is my Father. (How amazing is that?!)

Jesus said to her, “Stop clinging to Me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father; but go to My brethren and say to them, ‘I ascend to My Father and your Father, and My God and your God.'”- John 20:17

4. My God provides for my need.

“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.”- Matthew 7:7

5. My God tells me not to be afraid.

“For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.”- Isaiah 41:13

NinaSig

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Posted in Inspirational, Life & Wellness, Positive Thinking, Psychology

Happiness Around the Corner

“If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”- J.R.R. Tolien

HAPPINESS. It is the one thing that almost all of us strive to have.

For some of us, it is very easy to achieve, yet to some it is very difficult- like solving advance trigonometry in 30 seconds!

I want to emphasize that happiness is found in many things. It is us being with the ones we love, it is the smiles that we see from the people we care about, it is us enjoying good times around friends, it is us eating sumptuous meal with our favorite people, it is us listening to good music,  it is us doing what we love the most…

I want to share with you a short video clip from one of the movies that I’ve watched which shows a very good example of happiness. The song that they sung (the lyrics are below) also reminds us to live life at present, and living it the best we could.

I hope that you will find inspiration from the video and the song. Stay happy! 🙂

Don’t look too far. Sometimes, Happiness is just around the corner. 🙂

Today.jpg
CREDITS:
Video courtesy of YouTube
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Date Written: July 12, 2016
Posted in Inspirational, Life & Wellness, Positive Thinking, Psychology

Be Your Own Kind of Beautiful

“Self-worth is so vital to your happiness. If you don’t feel good about YOU, it’s hard to feel good about anything else”- Mandy Hale

Some people are not truly happy with their lives because they are too conscious about how people might judge them. They give too much importance on how others would see them, and sometimes, they try to change who they are just to belong and be accepted. Some people think that it will make them happy if they will fit the criteria and meet the standards that other people set up for them.

But I believe otherwise. I believe that one way to live a happy life is to accept ourselves for who we are.

It is not how other people see you that is important. It is how you see yourself that is more important.
It is not whether people will like you or not that matters. It is whether you like yourself or not that matters more.

So stop pretending to be someone you’re not just to be liked and belong.
Stop being insecure and start embracing your real self

When you become comfortable with who you really are, and no longer care too much about your “image”, you will become happier and more attractive to people. So be true to yourself and be your own kind of beautiful! 🙂

(Note: I would like to say thank you to Nicky M. of TheShimmerWithinHer for the inspiration.)

(photo source)


Date Written: August 11, 2016

Posted in Inspirational, Positive Thinking

To be Happy, be Grateful

“The root of joy is gratefulness…It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful.”- David Steindl-Rast

One of the things that many unhappy people have in common is their failure to see the good in a bad circumstance or situation…The problem is not really their inability to get what they want, but rather it is the lack of appreciation to the things that they already have. So how can we fix this?- by having a grateful heart.

I believe that gratitude contributes a lot to a person’s happiness. It boosts optimism and positivism. You see, unlike the pessimistic who sees the thorns on a rose, the grateful person sees the lovely rose on the thorns. The negative person sees the heartaches and headaches of the trying times, but the grateful person sees every moment as an opportunity, including the moment of difficulties- since he knows that it is during times of struggles that our faith &  strengths are tested. The grateful person says thank you for the tough times because he sees it as opportunity to know his weaknesses and learns from the experience.

People who are grateful are happier because they can see that both good and bad experience is a gift of blessing. Hence, they have a larger appreciation for life.They are happier because it is easier for them to find joy in small things. They delight in the simple pleasures of life.

If we have a grateful attitude, we will never fail to find a reason to be thankful for everyday.  If you think you ran out of reason, all you have to do is stop, pause a moment and look at the world around you. Look up and thank God for the sun that’s keeping us warm. Smell the flowers and be at awe of their beauty. Close your eyes and feel the wind on your face. Listen to your heartbeat and be thankful that you’re alive.

Today, I am making my personal commitment to start and end each day of my life with gratitude… a free ticket to a happier life!

(photo source)


Date Written: May 26, 2016

Posted in Inspirational, Positive Thinking

What I learned from Children

I would define CHILDREN as the happiest creatures in the world. Oh, don’t you just envy their enthusiasm and high-spirits!

happy children

In my pondering, I realize that there are really some great things that we can learn from them- the actual simple reasons why they are always happy.

Here we go…

#1: Children love unconditionally.

They don’t have any hidden motives or agenda. They don’t say “I love you IF you are…”, or “I love you WHEN you…”…they just simply love for the mere fact of loving someone.

I remember one time when my daughter, Gaby told me that she loves me. I asked her why and I was astonished with her response: “Because I am happy with you.” My heart just melts with joy every time I remember that.

#2: Children apologize and forgive easily.

Unlike adults, children don’t hold grudges. They get angry and fight, but they make up easily and then forget about what happened– as if it never happened at all. There’s no wonder why most adults are bitter– ’cause we usually fool ourselves by forgiving but not forgetting.

#3: Children live in the present moment.

They don’t worry about tomorrow, nor dwell in the past. They are enjoying living the PRESENT! On the contrary, most adults can’t let go of their past experiences and they are always busy planning about the future and they missed out the opportunities that the present hold.

#4: Children don’t complicate things.

Things are simple for them. There are no “gray areas”. They only know the Right & Wrong. and the Good & Bad– not the “somewhat right” or “wrong only if…”

#5: They laugh their hearts out and they have fun a lot!

#6: They are easily pleased and find joy in simple things.

Just compare the response that you get when you give a candy or ice cream to a child and to an adult. 🙂

#7:  They don’t lie about how they feel.

Children let you know when they are upset or happy. They do not hide their emotions. Now when you ask an adult if there is something wrong, what is the common response? Most often than not, they say “I’m Fine” even if they’re not. So the negative emotions or feelings dwells in their hearts until the time when they would just explode!

#8: Children love being hugged and kissed a lot; and they are generous in giving hugs and kisses!

#9: Children are curious and loves to learn new things.

It boosts their self-esteem when they get to learn something, and this gives them happiness. Unfortunately, most adults have the tendency to become complacent and idle.

#10: Children know what they like and they don’t like.

If you ask a child what he or she wants, you get an answer right away… why is it that when we ask ourselves what we want, it is as if we’re answering a trigonometry equation?

Now, who says only adults can teach? 🙂

(Photo Credits: cliparts.co, parentingwithunderstanding.com)


Date Written: May 26, 2016

Posted in Inspirational, Life & Wellness, Positive Thinking

Let’s Plant Life Seeds!- Seed #5: I AM

There are 5 things things in life that we know are important, but do not treat with much importance. You see, simply knowing is useless until what we know is applied and manifested in our behavior or actions.

Let me give you 2 simple facts:

1. OUR TIME ON EARTH IS LIMITED. The average life expectancy of a person is 78.8 years according to CDC (Center for Disease Control and Prevention)

2. WHAT YOU PLANT IN YOUR EARLY YEARS, YOU WILL REAP IN YOUR LATER YEARS.

Some people would see our life as a book, and we’re the authors.
For this time, I want us to picture our life as a garden and we’re the gardeners planting the seeds that we will reap later in our life.

Let’s talk about the Seed#5, the last and I believe the most important one- I AM.

Seed I AM.PNG

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”- Psalm 139:14

Let me ask you a question: WHO ARE YOU?

Some people with high self-worth would be able to give fantastic answers to this question. But there are also some people who may give negative answers because of low self-worth.

Let me share with you something that I find really helpful to me. How we see ourselves is very important because it affects how we live our life.

If you are always saying negative things like I am a loser, or I am a mess, or I am a total wreck… you are pushing away all the good things that could possibly happen to you. If this is the mindset that you have, you’re saying “NO” to good things before they even happen. WHY? Because you’re affirming to yourself that you deserve to suffer and do not believe that you can be happy.

I’ll tell you a universal fact. NOBODY IS PERFECT! So instead of looking at yourself based on your failures, flaws and imperfections, focus on your good traits. You may have had your fair share of bad moments or experiences, but they do not defy who you are.

Believe me when I tell you that…

(If you’re a parent) YOU ARE A CARING DAD OR MOM
(If you have a spouse/partner)YOU ARE A LOVING SPOUSE/PARTNER
YOU’RE AN OBEDIENT AND LOVING SON OR DAUGHTER
YOU ARE A DEPENDABLE FRIEND
YOU ARE A KIND & HONEST PERSON
YOU ARE A HARD-WORKING STUDENT OR EMPLOYEE
YOU ARE PATIENT AND UNDERSTANDING
YOU ARE FUN
YOU ARE FORGIVING & PEACE-LOVING PERSON
YOU’RE DIFFERENT, BUT CONFIDENT
YOU MAY NOT LOOK LIKE A MODEL, BUT YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.
YOU MAY NOT BE A GENIUS, BUT YOU’RE SMART ENOUGH
YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE
YOU ARE WORTHY OF GOOD HEALTH
YOU ARE WORTHY OF FORGIVENESS
YOU ARE WORTHY OF ACCEPTANCE
YOU ARE WORTHY OF BLESSINGS!

If you say “I am lovable”…Love will come looking for you…If you say “I am abundant”, opportunities will come knocking at your door…If you say “I am blessed!”, blessings will be poured unto you.

Friends, we have more power over our bodies and our lives more than we think we have. We have to choose carefully what we say next to our “I AM”. Plant positive seeds for your Self-Worth.

Let me end this post with this lovely quote from Joel Osteen, “It doesn’t matter who likes or doesn’t like you, all that matters is that God likes you. He accepts you. He approves of you.”

nina-feb

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Did you miss the previous Seeds? Read them here.

Posted in Inspirational, Life & Wellness, Positive Thinking

Let’s Plant Life Seeds!- Seed #4: WEALTH

There are 5 things things in life that we know are important, but do not treat with much importance. You see, simply knowing is useless until what we know is applied and manifested in our behavior or actions.

Let me give you 2 simple facts:

1. OUR TIME ON EARTH IS LIMITED. The average life expectancy of a person is 78.8 years according to CDC (Center for Disease Control and Prevention)

2. WHAT YOU PLANT IN YOUR EARLY YEARS, YOU WILL REAP IN YOUR LATER YEARS.

Some people would see our life as a book, and we’re the authors.
For this time, I want us to picture our life as a garden and we’re the gardeners planting the seeds that we will reap later in our life.

For today, let’s talk about Seed #4: WEALTH. 🙂

WEALTH Seed

“Plan carefully and you will have plenty; if you act too quickly, you will never have enough.”-Proverbs 21:5

Before we go further, let me first tell you that I am not a wealthy person and no, I am not financial guru either! In fact, like many of you, I am also just starting to learn how to properly manage my finances.

But I wanted to share with you 3 Principles that I have learned thru reading and listening from experts on money matters.

1. Smart Spending Formula.
Are you the person who uses this formula?

INCOME- TITHES (a.k.a. Eternal Investment)  and EXPENSES (a.k.a. Present needs)= SAVINGS & INVESTMENTS (a.k.a. Future Investments)

If so, then STOP doing that. This budget formula will not help you grow financially. Instead, I recommend that you to try this other formula.

INCOME- TITHES and SAVINGS & INVESTMENTS = EXPENSES .

Some people do not grow financially because they spend first and then save whatever is left after. Unfortunately in most cases, there would only be just a few amount or nothing left for the Savings!

The bottom line is we should take care of our future first before we spend for the present.

2. Live Simply- Invest on people, not on things.
Another reason why some people do not grow financially is that when their income increases, their expenses also increases!

You don’t need to buy a new clothes every time you get your paycheck. You don’t need to buy the newest gadgets or cellphone when you get your salary increase. You don’t need to get a new car or house when you get your bonus or commission.

Live simply and enjoy the more simple pleasures in life.
Have stroll along the park with loved ones. Movie nights with the kids during weekend at home. And potluck picnics with friends.

We don’t need to spend a lot to enjoy and have a good time. 🙂

When Income increases, it should be the Tithes and Savings or Investments that increase along with it. When your income grow, don’t let your expenses grow with it.

3. Be Generous. Help when needed.
Somebody wise said that generosity is the start of blessings. “Generosity is opening your palm, because when you open your palm then you are ready to receive…”

God blesses a cheerful giver. So let’s all learn to share our blessings! 🙂

Let’s nurture the seed of financial abundance so that we can enjoy more and share to others the blessings in life!

nina-feb

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Did you miss the previous Seeds? Read them here.

Posted in Inspirational, Life & Wellness, Positive Thinking

Let’s Plant Life Seeds!- Seed #3: HEALTH

There are 5 things things in life that we know are important, but do not treat with much importance. You see, simply knowing is useless until what we know is applied and manifested in our behavior or actions.

Let me give you 2 simple facts:

1. OUR TIME ON EARTH IS LIMITED. The average life expectancy of a person is 78.8 years according to CDC (Center for Disease Control and Prevention)

2. WHAT YOU PLANT IN YOUR EARLY YEARS, YOU WILL REAP IN YOUR LATER YEARS.

Some people would see our life as a book, and we’re the authors.
For this time, I want us to picture our life as a garden and we’re the gardeners planting the seeds that we will reap later in our life.

Let us learn about Seed # 3 today, HEALTH. 🙂

Health Seed

“My purpose is to give life in all its fullness”- John 10:10

When we talk about health, automatically what comes to mind is the gym & the boring leafy greens. But health is rather more than that. It is a LIFESTYLE. And if we want to be healthy for the rest of our lives, we need to develop and practice the habit of a good lifestyle.

1. Mobility– whether we like it or not, the only way for us to burn fats is to move, move, and move. That is why exercise works! Now, if you’re like me who is not really a fan of the traditional exercise, let me introduce you to my “organic gym”.
* commute and walk a lot– according to studies, commuting is one of the factors of life longevity in Japan. When you go to the mall or to your office, park in the area farthest to the entrance door. This way, you avoid the stress of fighting for a nearest parking space and you have the wonderful opportunity to walk.
* go window shopping or stroll in the park more often.
* play with your kids and then clean the house until you sweat like never before!
* befriend the stairs! If you’re going up 2 floors only, use the stairs instead of the elevator.
* dance! Play your favorite rhythm and dance like nobody is watching!

2. Diet– what we take into our body is a big deal. Some diseases are acquired because of the food that we intake. Do we eat more junk foods that real foods? Do we dig in fast and instant foods more often than slow home-cooked meals? Do we digest more fruits, vegetables, fish & red meat? Do we drink more water or alcohol? Help your body to detoxify. Eat healthy.

3. Socialization & Family Ties– According to psychology, strong group orientation is conducive to our psychological well-being. When we socialize with others, we develop friendships and relationships. It gives us a sense of belonging and keeps us from feeling alienated. When we are close to our family, we feel more love from one another. Getting & giving more love equals happier life!

4. Set a time to Get Busy– I don’t mean get busy with work or stuffs that stresses you out! Get busy doing the things that gives you pleasure. Read books, paint, play your guitar and record your song, get creative, write your poetry or novel, plant in your garden. Do the things that sharpens your skills or mentality, do things that gives joy to your soul!

5. Meditate– Meditation is not just for physical relaxation but it also increases the brain’s gray matter which contains most of the brain’s neuronal cell bodies. According to a Harvard Study, “participating in an eight-week mindfulness meditation program appears to make measurable changes in brain regions associated with memory, sense of self, empathy, and stress”.

Do you want to live more than 60 years old- full of life and still kicking? Then plant the seeds of a healthy lifestyle. Take care of your health while you’re young, your health will take care of you when you get old.

nina-feb

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Did you miss the previous Seeds? Read them here.

Posted in Inspirational, Life & Wellness, Positive Thinking

Let’s Plant Life Seeds!- Seed#2:RELATIONSHIPS

There are 5 things things in life that we know are important, but do not treat with much importance. You see, simply knowing is useless until what we know is applied and manifested in our behavior or actions.

Let me give you 2 simple facts:

1. OUR TIME ON EARTH IS LIMITED. The average life expectancy of a person is 78.8 years according to CDC (Center for Disease Control and Prevention)

2. WHAT YOU PLANT IN YOUR EARLY YEARS, YOU WILL REAP IN YOUR LATER YEARS.

Some people would see our life as a book, and we’re the authors.
For this time, I want us to picture our life as a garden and we’re the gardeners planting the seeds that we will reap later in our life.

Today, let’s talk about the second seed- RELATIONSHIPS. 🙂

relationship-seed“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”- Ephesians 4:2 

 

There are 3 important relationships in our life: Our relationship with our Self. Our relationship with Others. And our relationship to God. IF we’re doing great on all these 3 relationships, I believe  100% that we can truly be happy.

  • Relationship with your Self. 

According to Rick Warren, the author of Purpose Driven Life, there are 2 things that prevents us from reaching our highest potential. Number one is wishing that we are somebody else (perhaps the person that you admire or envy); and number two is people-pleasing (to the extent that we do things that we may not really like to do but do anyways in order to be accepted). Both of these are destructive because it prevents us from accepting our selves as we are!

When you look at the person in the mirror, who do you see?

Do you see the failure or the fighter that keeps going no matter how many times he fell?

Do you see the ugly because you do not fit to the norms of society or the unique person who is confident in his own kind of beautiful?

Do you see the prideful being who cannot let go of past hurts or the forgiving loving person who choose to believe that there is still goodness in others despite negative past experiences?

Be careful what you seed you are nourishing to your self. You become who you think you are. Make your “I AM” positive.

  • Relationship with your Others. 

Do you want to know how you impact your family or friends? Why not try this simple test. Ask yourself: When you’re around them, do they become happier or gloomier or no change at all?

When I like a person, I light up when they’re around me. I feel much happier, I feel inspired, I feel like the best in me comes out.

When I don’t like a person, I don’t hang out with him for too long. Otherwise, I feel like all the positive energies in me are being sapped out and my monster tendency is slowly coming out!

Now there are also times when I’m around people who do not affect me much. They may be around or not and I won’t care- my world continues to revolve.

Obviously, we all want to have that positive impact to others. We all want to be desirable because we affect them in such a way that they become their best. Just like how it is stated in Proverbs 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

But how are we as spouses, partners, parents, sons & daughters, and friends? Do we communicate in a positive tone? Do we deliberately set time to bond and enjoy each others’ company? Do we give enough encouragement and affirmation? Do we give more than we get? Do we seek more to listen and understand rather than set rules and so be it? Are we trusted and reliable friends or are we just friends when we can benefit from the friendship? Do you prioritize people or material things?

We all want to be successful, but it’s also important to consider who you will be celebrating your life’s successes with! Nourish your Relationship seeds. You will be grateful for it later in life.

  • Relationship with God. 

I am in my mid-30’s and it is embarrassing for me to admit that I have not read the whole Bible. I know that having a deeper spiritual relationship with God is knowing Him more. And the only way for me to get to know Him is to read other people’s account of Him thru the Scriptures.

Like many others, I know about God, but I did not know Him. I’m still a baby in my walk as a Christian. But I’m trying to have this closer relationship with Him now. I still fail most of the time, God is very patient with me. I delight in knowing that He’s mg Father and He loves me and He’s always just a prayer away. (Isn’t it amazing how we can just talk to Him whenever we want, wherever we want?)

Because I know that God loves me, I can love myself and accept even my undesirable traits.
Because I know that God loves me at my darkest, it is easier for me to love, understand and forgive others.

Get to know God. I know you will like Him a lot! 🙂

nina-feb

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Did you missed the First Seed? Read it here.