Posted in Relationships

Are You Kind At Home?

Posted on by Nina

“No act of kindness no matter how small is ever wasted.”- Aesop

Have you noticed how sometimes,we are nicer to other people than to our family? How often are we more accommodating to our visitors than to our spouses? Why is it that we are more courteous and patient to our bosses than we are to our parents? How come that we speak more gently to colleagues than to our children? This is sad, but it is a reality.

But this can change.

We can start in our own home, with our own family. If our children will grow in an environment where respect and kindness to family members are valued, it will penetrate their being. It will become a part of them.

Why don’t we go back to the basics? Here are some of the important ones that we often neglect or forget.

  • Say the 3 magic words: “I’m Sorry”, “Thank You”, and “I love you”.

Immediately apologize when you hurt someone. Who will not forgive you when you just go ahead and say “I made a mistake, and I’m sorry” then hug them right away?

Be grateful for the service that you get even if what they’re doing are already expected of them. Thank your mom for cooking for you. Thank your dad for driving you to school. Thank your spouse for taking care of your needs. Saying thank you is letting them know they are appreciated and recognized.

Don’t ever get tired of saying I love you and hug at least once a day!… this is a cliche that will always work!

  • Communicate and Talk.

When’s the last time you dated your parents or siblings? When’s the last time you had a heart to heart talk with your children? Be involve in the lives of your family members by knowing what’s going on.

  • Offer to Help or Assist.

When’s the last time we offered to do a house chore that is supposed to be done by someone else?

  • Be generous with Compliments, not with complaints.

Highlight the positives! According to psychology studies, if we want a positive behavior to continue, we can reinforce it with positive motivation- that’s the benefit of giving praises!

  • Do not compare; but Encourage rather.

Comparing a person to another especially if he/she is on the losing end is just a mean thing to do. It crushes down his/her spirit. We should be helping in building healthy self-esteem by providing words of encouragements and affirmation.

We should show kindness in our home everyday, and then extend that kindness outside. When we do, well…just imagine what could happen. ☺

Wishing you all a happy life,

nina-feb1

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30 thoughts on “Are You Kind At Home?”

  1. I can relate to this post. It is easier to put on our “poker face” when confronted by strangers. Usually, we can be polite and kinder to people we don’t know and more rude to people we love. As they say, “we hurt the ones we really love.” But, it doesn’t have to be that way. We can love the people we love, not hurt them or take advantage of them. I think we simply get comfortable and start taking kindness for granted. So, like you said, I try to remind myself to be loving towards family and close friends. I try to not take them for granted. Great post!!! ❤❤❤

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    1. Thank you Sonyo. I agree with you. Simetimes we get to comfortable and confident that our family will always going to be there for us…but that shouldn’t be an excuse not to treat them with care and kindness.
      Thanks for reading and commenting!

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  2. Hello Nina!
    Perfection in this post! I couldn’t agree more and it’s something I’m hoping to write about one day too. I was inspired one day by the words from a Foo Fighters song…’is someone getting the best of you…’
    Thank you for a lovely post 💐🌟

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      1. Thank you Nina. Yes, it’s a lovely song and thank you for your support. I have so many little ideas for posts roaming around in my head. Hopefully it makes an appearance eventually…
        yours is perfect as it is 💜💐

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      5. Have you read Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert? She says words and ideas arrive for us and if we don’t use them and give them our attention, they pass onto someone who will love them and act upon them. Isn’t that a beautiful thought 🌈🦋

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      6. Now that is really something…it’s a brilliant thought actually.
        I haven’t read that, but it must be a good one and I will read it when I see it. 🙂

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    1. I am guilty at this too sometimes. So it’s also a reminder to myself to be kinder to family. I guess what’s more important is that we acknowledge and continue to strive to do better! 😊
      I appreciate you reading and commenting on my post!

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  4. I’m guilty of this. Sometimes I feel like my patience are all used up by the time I get home at the end of the day. That’s not fair. Thanks for a needed reminder Nina.

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  5. Nina- thank you SO much for this lovely post. It is so true. I catch myself doing this all of the time.. but it is super embarrassing when your husband actually calls you out on it. I’m so stubborn though and I hate it when he is correct. I just need to take a deep breath and think about exactly what you have written!

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    1. Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I am sure many others could relate to it too, so don’t be too hard on your self. 🙂 We can always make up for our shortcomings. 🙂

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    1. Thanks Nikki… I don’t know with others but for me, this is something that should bother us… I guess maybe (even unconsciously) we’re just trying to have other people like us or we have this certain “image” that we like people to think about us so we treat them extra special (?)… Anyway, I still strongly feel that family should be treated the same, if not more special. 🙂

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  7. Great post, Nina! This is something I’ve often thought about. The sad thing is it’s become the norm for members of a household to not treat each other as well as they treat non-family members. It’s definitely worth the effort to improve the way we treat our family. I’m definitely going to start trying.

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    1. Thanks Allen. I agree with you that it’s becoming the norm. I think it helps a lot if parents would exert more effort in reinforcing good and positive values to their children while their young…like you, I am also trying. 🙂

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      1. Yes, absolutely! Another thought I had, was how we obviously are capable of treating each other nicely since we treat our friends, coworkers, bosses, etc nicely. And most of the times, it doesn’t require a huge amount of self-control or effort to do so. It comes naturally. And I think it’s by our desire to be liked by them, but for some reason, we don’t seem to have those same feelings with our own family.

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      2. I get what you mean and I totally agree. Perhaps, we also have this natural assumption that our family can accept and understand us; and that they are to be always there for us- but that’s the thing. It’s because of this that we unconsciously treat them less special when it’s supposed to be the other way around.

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  8. Being kind at home is such a tough task sometimes. I spend my day biting my tongue, taking deep breaths, and holding back my true feelings about some of the situations I encounter. Then I often let loose on those I love the most. Such a beautiful reminder Nina. Happy Easter!

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    1. I could definitely relate to you! Sometimes we could be very patient outside and then it’s so easy to let loose of all the frustrations at home…I guess that’s one of the great things about family too…we can be at our worst and yet they still love us. 😊 As long as we treat them with extra love & care and make them feel special more than we are “monsters on the loose” I guess we’re good! 😊

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  9. Working on this is my home, along with my 6 children. It’s easy to give the worst of ourselves in a place where we feel comfortable and turns into a habit. It takes mindfulness to price these things and then take steps to change it!

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    1. I agree. Perhaps it’s because we know that family is always going to be there no matter what, but we often forget the negative impact it does to our relationships.
      Thank you for reading and commenting. I hope you and all your children are well. 🙂

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