If I were to be asked the best thing that could happen to a person, my answer would be to feel loved. I bet many of us have enjoyed the experience of falling in love. But what if I tell you falling in love is not real love ?
Before I tell you why. Let us see what Falling In Love is…
- Falling in love comes naturally.
You see the other person, you get attracted- you heart beats fast, you can think of nothing else but him or her. You’ve got butterflies on your stomach. You’re on cloud-nine whenever you’re together. You don’t decide when and to whom. You just feel it. Sometimes we even fall in love to the person we least expect to fall in love with. Moreover, you also cannot force your self to fall in love. No matter how much you want, you cannot just make it happen.
- Falling in love is effortless.
Whatever we do when we fall in love is not difficult to do. Sometimes, we spend money on dates, but it’s okay as long as we’re having dinner with our beloved. We fly to the other side of the world, but it’s okay as long as we could be with our partner even if it’s only for a few hours. You may skip basketball games with your peers because you have to go with her on a tree planting activity. OR you will pass on salon day with your best friend because you will watch him play baseball. ALL these things will be effortless. It doesn’t require much will-power.
- Falling in love is finding your perfect match, and feeling in love forever.
You finally meet the perfect guy or girl who completes you. He/she is everything you’re looking for in a partner. You just know the he/she is THE ONE for you. You will never look at another person again.
Falling in love is an experience of temporary emotional high. It will not last long enough to sustain a happy relationship.
LOVE will. So, if falling in love is not real love. What is Real LOVE?
As a matter of fact, Real Love requires what is not present in falling in love.
- Real Love requires Decision.
Sometimes, we hate the person we love but does it mean we stop loving them? No. You still make coffee for your husband in the morning even if you’re mad at him for not mowing the lawn. You still drive your wife to work even if you’re pissed because she forgot to pay the electric bill. Love is a Choice.
- Real Love requires Effort.
Sometimes, we don’t want to do things but because we love, we exert effort and still do them.
A tired and sleepy mom would still wake up in the middle to the night to feed their baby. A father who worked overnight will still wake up very early in the morning to drive the children in school. You don’t know how to cook but your spouse loves home-cooked meal so you learn the art of cooking and be the best food engineer! That is love.
- Real Love requires Commitment.
The person you love may hurt you, annoy you, make you angry, make you jealous, belittle you, or disrespect you…but if you’re committed, you will always remind your self to love them in spite and despite of. Does it mean you have to just take in and tolerate the negatives? Nope… there is a thing called Tough Love!
In addition, there will always be a time when you will find another person who is better than your spouse or partner in one or more criteria. Again, we have to remind ourselves to be committed & choose to stay in our relationships.
LOVE works with Hard Work in order to survive obstacles. Loving is simple BUT it is not always easy. Nonetheless, the reward is always worth 10 times more the effort! 🙂