Posted in Life & Wellness, Relationships

Relationship Drifts

“The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.”- Audrey Hepburn

When we talk about broken or failed relationships, what comes to mind first is that someone probably cheated. And then there are the other reasons such as incompatibility or irreconcilable differences; physical or verbal abuse; possessiveness, jealousy, & trust-issues that lead to fighting, etc.

But I tell you what, there is another MAJOR culprit why relationships fail. I would bet that this one probably have not cross the minds of most of us because unlike the reasons mentioned earlier, this particular one is not obvious. It works like a cancer- you’ll only realize that you have it when you’re already experiencing the damage on the relationship. Most often than not, either it is too late, or it will require a “major treatment” for the relationship to be restored.

This silent relationship-killer I am talking about is called Relationship Drift. It is like people staying on different boats that are slowly being drifted away by the water current. If they don’t exert effort to paddle and stay close together, the boats will be separated away from each other.

The sad thing is that Relationship Drifts don’t just happen overnight. It’s a long on-going process that we fail to notice and it could happen to any relationship. It could be between spouses, parents and children, in-laws, and friends. It’s when we lose spark or interest to one another. This is when conversations are no longer interesting or on a deeper level. It is when we no longer miss the other person. It is when we no longer care what the other person is doing. It is when we no longer care what they think or feel about us. It is when we no longer feel anything or when we become indifferent.

I would like to think that drifts in relationships is brought about by the absence of 3-A’s: Affection, Attention, and Affirmation. And so to avoid it, we need to ensure that we always have these 3-A’s present in our relationships.

  • Affection.
    When we love someone, we have to show them our affection. Love is not just a word or a feeling. There has to be an action. Kissing and hugging are most popular, but there are other ways too. We can give simple gifts, tap on the shoulder, helping out, or even calling or texting just to say you’re thinking of the person or you appreciate something that he or she did for you.
  • Attention.
    Set a time to bond. Try to schedule separate dates with your spouses or partner, children, in-laws and friends. Be mindful of the moment and communicate. Share your thoughts and experiences. Ask how each other is doing, and be interested to not only what’s happening in their lives, but also with their dreams and aspirations. Celebrate a lot- not just birthdays and holidays. Make reasons for celebrations like when your son top the exam or your daughter learned to play a new instrument. Creating moments with your loved ones is what makes a great relationship.
  • Affirmation.
    We need to show encouragement and support when needed. Even if we don’t feel like doing it, we have to let people feel and believe that we will always be here for them. The lack of assurance that you will be there no matter what cripples relationships. Being said that, let’s try hard not to judge but be understanding even if we do not tolerate a certain behavior. Good and open communication is always a key.

I know that doing all these is not easy. It is hard and that is why most relationships don’t work out. Trust me when I say that it is better to work hard now, than suffer and regret the consequences of not having to do all these later.

Happy weekend everybody! May God bless the relationships in your lives!

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Posted in Blogging, Positive Thinking

A Blog Worth Sharing- #9: BOSS in the Middle

Hello Everyone!

I am sharing with you today another great blog that I really admire.

Boss in the Middle focuses on “people who are responsible for understanding, shaping, and promoting the vision of “upper management” and infusing that vision into a workforce.”
It contains very good articles on Leadership, Problem-Solving, and People-Management. But what I love about this blog is how faith in God is incorporated.

I highly encourage you to visit. I’m 101% sure that you’ll have something to take away from this blog. 🙂

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BLOG NAME: >BOSS< in the Middle

POST TITLE: Real Leaders Pray

“For leaders, prayer is not just a meditation technique, that when utilized properly, can calm your heart rate and put you in a tranquil state. No. Prayer is direct communication with the Most High God. The Creator of heaven and earth has given us His undivided attention and we can call Him anytime. It is as vital for a leader to understand the importance of prayer, before, during and after tasks. If we talk to God up front and ensure our motives are clear, He will see you through according to His will…”

POST TITLE: Leaders must say NO when Necessary

“A new leader might think, “It would be great if I could give my team everything they desire.” Higher compensation, benefits, resources, information, the list goes on. But a good leader understands, not only is that impossible, it could also be detrimental…”

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Posted in Inspirational, Positive Thinking

What Do You See?

Hello Everyone!

Today, I have a story to share with you and I am hoping that it will put a sunshine on your day. 🙂

One time, Elsa and Ana are talking over lunch. Ana is venting out her frustrations to her friend saying that nothing is going right in her life. Everything is wrong…everything is horrible and terrible.

Elsa, trying to counsel and make her friend realize that her life is not at all that bad, brought out a piece of paper and a pen. She asked Ana to divide the paper and write all the bad things on the left side, and on the right side, she should write all the good things.

Ana: Oh I’m pretty sure that I will have longer list on the left side.

Elsa: Okay, well…we’ll see about that. Let’s start… How about you write on the bad things- “my husband is cheating on me.”

Ana: No way! I am 200% sure that my husband is loyal and faithful to me. He comes right home after work, we date every Saturday, and he spends time with our children whenever he’s available.

Elsa: Alright, I guess that’s a good thing then. So we can write that on the right side of the paper. Next one, write on the bad things- “My children are on drugs.”

Ana: That is sooo not true! My children do not even drink or smoke. They are very serious with their studies and they have cool but decent set of friends.

Elsa:  Another good thing then, I supposed. How about you write there- ” I am terminally ill and I’m dying weeks from now.”

Ana: I do not have a terminal disease, and I supposed will never have. I practice healthy living.

Elsa: Ok, how about…”I don’t have any friends”,or “I’m bankrupt,” or “I don’t have a job”, or “My house is being foreclosed” or “I can’t buy my family food.”. or “My children hates me”, “My in-laws don’t like me”, “My dog don’t like me”…

Realizing what her friend is trying to do, tears rolled down Ana’s eyes and she hugged Elsa and whispered “Thank you.”

My friends, if you’re having a bad mood, or bad day or bad week… shift your focus. Get yourself out of that box of negatives and look out for the things that are going right in your life. You will see that life ain’t that bad at all!

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Posted in Motivational, Positive Thinking

What’s your “I am”?

“Whether you realize it or not, all through the day the power of “I AM” is at work in your life, for what follows those 2 simple words will determine what kind of life you live.”- Joel Osteen, The Power of I AM

Many of us wish that we are more successful, more beautiful, happier with our relationships, more loved…We wish for more of the good things. We want better and yet oftentimes, we tell ourselves these- “I’m never gonna be good enough..”, “I’m not that smart to be qualified…”, “I don’t think I can do it…”. “I’m too old to be doing this now…”, “I’m too weak for this…”, “I’m always unlucky…”, “This is my fate…”, “I’m a hopeless case…”,”I’m born this way. I’ll never change..”

Can I tell you a secret? YOU ARE WHO YOU SAY YOU ARE. We cannot expect to live a positive life if we’re always talking negative.

If you always tell yourself that you’re never be good enough, then you will never be good enough. If you tell yourself you’re inferior or you’re not smart, then you will always be inferior. If you tell yourself that you’re weak, then you’ll always going to be weak.If you tell yourself you’re unworthy of being loved, then you will never feel loved.

Stop cursing your life and start inviting the positives,. Say “I am able.”, “I am lovable”, “I am blessed.”, “I am lucky”, “I am a blessing to people”, “I am beautiful”, “I am smart”, “I am healthy”, “I am wealthy”, “I am strong”, “I am confident”. Love, Blessings, Health, Wealth, Brilliance, Cleverness, Ability, & Talent will come looking for you.

If you don’t like what you’re seeing, start sowing different seeds. It’s time you start saying the right “I AM” and follow-through with your actions! 🙂

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Have a fruitful week everyone! 🙂

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Posted in Awards, Random Happiness

My First for 2017 =)

I’m excited to receive my very first blog award for this year.  Thank you Andrei for nominating TheHappyLife101 for the  One Lovely Blog Award. 🙂

THOUGHT AVENUE: Speak Your Mind is one of the most sensible and thought-provoking yet humorous blog that I’ve seen. I strongly encourage everyone to visit Andrei’s blog and I guarantee that you will not be wasting your precious time.

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  1. Thank the person that nominated you and leave a link to their blog.
  2. Share 7 facts about yourself.
  3. Nominate at most 15 people.
  4. Tell your nominees the good news!

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  1. I am comfortable going out without wearing any make-up on. I’d rather spend an hour reading an interesting book, than spend an hour in front of the mirror  putting make-ups.
  2. I can cook a food that I’ve never cooked as long as I’ve tasted it- One of my many amazing talents! 😉
  3. I’m a better Writer than a Speaker. In person, I stutter a lot!
  4. I have a notebook where I write my thoughts for my daughter. She’s only 5-years old now so I could not really talk to her in a more mature way. But there are things that I want her to know from my experiences with her. So I just write them on my “Dear Gaby” notebook, and hopefully I will not lose it until she’d get to read it when she’s older. 🙂
  5. Sometimes, I use my “travel time” to the office to pray. And I do randomly pray for  strangers.
  6. I could live a day (or a week) without my cellphone with me. It’s true.
  7. I love planners. I still own an actual planner even if I could schedule upcoming events on my cellphone or Outlook. 🙂

nominations

Khadhy
Mark All My Words
A Teacher’s Reflections
Out An’ About
Flying Through Water
Cyranny’s Cove
Project Believe In Yourself

It’s great if you guys would participate, but it’s also okay if you chose not to. Just know that I find your blogs lovely and they deserve the recognition. 🙂

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Posted in Positive Thinking, Random Happiness

A Little Sacrifice Won’t Hurt…

When I am asked to share something that I’ve learned from animals, I would always remember this story about the Hedgehogs that my Psychology instructor in college told us.

During cold winters, these tiny spiky animals would try to get as closer to each other as they could get to stay warm, but being spiky as they are, they would get hurt when they try to stay very close. And so they tried to distance themselves but they would suffer the cold, and some of them would not even survive it. Realizing that, they  chose to stay close together even if it meant getting a little hurt. They learned to accept this sacrifice because this is what would make them feel warm and it ensures their survival from the cold weather.

Like the hedgehogs, people also need others to survive in life. It’s true that we are putting  ourselves at risk of getting hurt the more that we become closer to people; but that is also what would make us feel warmer and happier. People will hurt us or we will hurt Others at some point in our lives. The arguments and fights are given. We will always have disagreements. But these are nothing compared to the happiness that close relationships give us. Being safe yet alone and lonely would be so much worse.

So like the hedgehogs, we need to accept and tolerate the little imperfections of other people. In the end, we need each other to survive in life. 🙂

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Thank you Andrei for tagging me along on the Animal Series Tag! I know it took me a while, but a promise is a promise, right? 🙂

My Nominations:

  1. Flying Through Water
  2. Out An About
  3. The Bag Lady

The Rules:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you
  2. Pick an animal and explain why they are a source of inspiration to you, and how their character can be used to motivate.
  3. Nominate at least 3 other bloggers, to share the positivity!