“The single most important factor in our long-term happiness is the relationships we have with our family and close friends.”- Clayton M. Christensen
Just recently, my 5-year old daughter and I were reviewing for her exams. She was able to pick up most of the lessons, but like any other student, she also had difficulty in understanding some, so we spent more time in learning those. However, even after more minutes of teaching and explaining, still she would not grasp them- and so I got upset and frustrated.
My frustration was very obvious. My eyes got bigger, my lips thinner, my voice got louder…yes, my daughter felt me getting angry, and it made her cry. Honestly, I felt bad too and guilty for poorly handling the situation- for not being more patient and in control of my emotion. My goodness! How “un-intelligent” my daughter must have felt when I turn into this “monster mom!”
But you know what? After our review, I made sure to tell her that I love her very much even if I get mad at her sometimes. Then I felt so much better seeing the smile back in her face.
In other circumstances, I praise her whenever she get a “star” in her workbook, or a “great job!” marked on her hands. I make it a really BIG deal, and she would get very happy! I also recognize whenever I see her do a good things- like when she fix her toys after playing, when she helps me make the bed, when she is being kind to others. There are also the times when I tell her that she is pretty (she really is!), or that I am proud of her, or that she is smart when she does something witty.
My point is- in every one bad thing that you do, make sure you do good three times more. If you discipline one time, praise and motivate three times more. If you hurt someone (whether intentional or not), make up for it three times. WHY? SO THAT THE GOOD THINGS WILL BE REMEMBERED AND NOT THE BAD ONE. At the end of the day, we want to put emphasis on the good and not the bad. We want to build loving, happy relationships.
So, the next time you do something that may have hurt someone, don’t be too hard on yourself because now, we know better what to do next…
Wishing you all a fun-tastic weekend ahead! 🙂