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Let’s Plant Life Seeds!- Seed #4: WEALTH

There are 5 things things in life that we know are important, but do not treat with much importance. You see, simply knowing is useless until what we know is applied and manifested in our behavior or actions.

Let me give you 2 simple facts:

1. OUR TIME ON EARTH IS LIMITED. The average life expectancy of a person is 78.8 years according to CDC (Center for Disease Control and Prevention)

2. WHAT YOU PLANT IN YOUR EARLY YEARS, YOU WILL REAP IN YOUR LATER YEARS.

Some people would see our life as a book, and we’re the authors.
For this time, I want us to picture our life as a garden and we’re the gardeners planting the seeds that we will reap later in our life.

For today, let’s talk about Seed #4: WEALTH. 🙂

WEALTH Seed

“Plan carefully and you will have plenty; if you act too quickly, you will never have enough.”-Proverbs 21:5

Before we go further, let me first tell you that I am not a wealthy person and no, I am not financial guru either! In fact, like many of you, I am also just starting to learn how to properly manage my finances.

But I wanted to share with you 3 Principles that I have learned thru reading and listening from experts on money matters.

1. Smart Spending Formula.
Are you the person who uses this formula?

INCOME- TITHES (a.k.a. Eternal Investment)  and EXPENSES (a.k.a. Present needs)= SAVINGS & INVESTMENTS (a.k.a. Future Investments)

If so, then STOP doing that. This budget formula will not help you grow financially. Instead, I recommend that you to try this other formula.

INCOME- TITHES and SAVINGS & INVESTMENTS = EXPENSES .

Some people do not grow financially because they spend first and then save whatever is left after. Unfortunately in most cases, there would only be just a few amount or nothing left for the Savings!

The bottom line is we should take care of our future first before we spend for the present.

2. Live Simply- Invest on people, not on things.
Another reason why some people do not grow financially is that when their income increases, their expenses also increases!

You don’t need to buy a new clothes every time you get your paycheck. You don’t need to buy the newest gadgets or cellphone when you get your salary increase. You don’t need to get a new car or house when you get your bonus or commission.

Live simply and enjoy the more simple pleasures in life.
Have stroll along the park with loved ones. Movie nights with the kids during weekend at home. And potluck picnics with friends.

We don’t need to spend a lot to enjoy and have a good time. 🙂

When Income increases, it should be the Tithes and Savings or Investments that increase along with it. When your income grow, don’t let your expenses grow with it.

3. Be Generous. Help when needed.
Somebody wise said that generosity is the start of blessings. “Generosity is opening your palm, because when you open your palm then you are ready to receive…”

God blesses a cheerful giver. So let’s all learn to share our blessings! 🙂

Let’s nurture the seed of financial abundance so that we can enjoy more and share to others the blessings in life!

nina-feb

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Did you miss the previous Seeds? Read them here.

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Let’s Plant Life Seeds!- Seed #3: HEALTH

There are 5 things things in life that we know are important, but do not treat with much importance. You see, simply knowing is useless until what we know is applied and manifested in our behavior or actions.

Let me give you 2 simple facts:

1. OUR TIME ON EARTH IS LIMITED. The average life expectancy of a person is 78.8 years according to CDC (Center for Disease Control and Prevention)

2. WHAT YOU PLANT IN YOUR EARLY YEARS, YOU WILL REAP IN YOUR LATER YEARS.

Some people would see our life as a book, and we’re the authors.
For this time, I want us to picture our life as a garden and we’re the gardeners planting the seeds that we will reap later in our life.

Let us learn about Seed # 3 today, HEALTH. 🙂

Health Seed

“My purpose is to give life in all its fullness”- John 10:10

When we talk about health, automatically what comes to mind is the gym & the boring leafy greens. But health is rather more than that. It is a LIFESTYLE. And if we want to be healthy for the rest of our lives, we need to develop and practice the habit of a good lifestyle.

1. Mobility– whether we like it or not, the only way for us to burn fats is to move, move, and move. That is why exercise works! Now, if you’re like me who is not really a fan of the traditional exercise, let me introduce you to my “organic gym”.
* commute and walk a lot– according to studies, commuting is one of the factors of life longevity in Japan. When you go to the mall or to your office, park in the area farthest to the entrance door. This way, you avoid the stress of fighting for a nearest parking space and you have the wonderful opportunity to walk.
* go window shopping or stroll in the park more often.
* play with your kids and then clean the house until you sweat like never before!
* befriend the stairs! If you’re going up 2 floors only, use the stairs instead of the elevator.
* dance! Play your favorite rhythm and dance like nobody is watching!

2. Diet– what we take into our body is a big deal. Some diseases are acquired because of the food that we intake. Do we eat more junk foods that real foods? Do we dig in fast and instant foods more often than slow home-cooked meals? Do we digest more fruits, vegetables, fish & red meat? Do we drink more water or alcohol? Help your body to detoxify. Eat healthy.

3. Socialization & Family Ties– According to psychology, strong group orientation is conducive to our psychological well-being. When we socialize with others, we develop friendships and relationships. It gives us a sense of belonging and keeps us from feeling alienated. When we are close to our family, we feel more love from one another. Getting & giving more love equals happier life!

4. Set a time to Get Busy– I don’t mean get busy with work or stuffs that stresses you out! Get busy doing the things that gives you pleasure. Read books, paint, play your guitar and record your song, get creative, write your poetry or novel, plant in your garden. Do the things that sharpens your skills or mentality, do things that gives joy to your soul!

5. Meditate– Meditation is not just for physical relaxation but it also increases the brain’s gray matter which contains most of the brain’s neuronal cell bodies. According to a Harvard Study, “participating in an eight-week mindfulness meditation program appears to make measurable changes in brain regions associated with memory, sense of self, empathy, and stress”.

Do you want to live more than 60 years old- full of life and still kicking? Then plant the seeds of a healthy lifestyle. Take care of your health while you’re young, your health will take care of you when you get old.

nina-feb

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Did you miss the previous Seeds? Read them here.

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Let’s Plant Life Seeds!- Seed#2:RELATIONSHIPS

There are 5 things things in life that we know are important, but do not treat with much importance. You see, simply knowing is useless until what we know is applied and manifested in our behavior or actions.

Let me give you 2 simple facts:

1. OUR TIME ON EARTH IS LIMITED. The average life expectancy of a person is 78.8 years according to CDC (Center for Disease Control and Prevention)

2. WHAT YOU PLANT IN YOUR EARLY YEARS, YOU WILL REAP IN YOUR LATER YEARS.

Some people would see our life as a book, and we’re the authors.
For this time, I want us to picture our life as a garden and we’re the gardeners planting the seeds that we will reap later in our life.

Today, let’s talk about the second seed- RELATIONSHIPS. 🙂

relationship-seed“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”- Ephesians 4:2 

 

There are 3 important relationships in our life: Our relationship with our Self. Our relationship with Others. And our relationship to God. IF we’re doing great on all these 3 relationships, I believe  100% that we can truly be happy.

  • Relationship with your Self. 

According to Rick Warren, the author of Purpose Driven Life, there are 2 things that prevents us from reaching our highest potential. Number one is wishing that we are somebody else (perhaps the person that you admire or envy); and number two is people-pleasing (to the extent that we do things that we may not really like to do but do anyways in order to be accepted). Both of these are destructive because it prevents us from accepting our selves as we are!

When you look at the person in the mirror, who do you see?

Do you see the failure or the fighter that keeps going no matter how many times he fell?

Do you see the ugly because you do not fit to the norms of society or the unique person who is confident in his own kind of beautiful?

Do you see the prideful being who cannot let go of past hurts or the forgiving loving person who choose to believe that there is still goodness in others despite negative past experiences?

Be careful what you seed you are nourishing to your self. You become who you think you are. Make your “I AM” positive.

  • Relationship with your Others. 

Do you want to know how you impact your family or friends? Why not try this simple test. Ask yourself: When you’re around them, do they become happier or gloomier or no change at all?

When I like a person, I light up when they’re around me. I feel much happier, I feel inspired, I feel like the best in me comes out.

When I don’t like a person, I don’t hang out with him for too long. Otherwise, I feel like all the positive energies in me are being sapped out and my monster tendency is slowly coming out!

Now there are also times when I’m around people who do not affect me much. They may be around or not and I won’t care- my world continues to revolve.

Obviously, we all want to have that positive impact to others. We all want to be desirable because we affect them in such a way that they become their best. Just like how it is stated in Proverbs 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

But how are we as spouses, partners, parents, sons & daughters, and friends? Do we communicate in a positive tone? Do we deliberately set time to bond and enjoy each others’ company? Do we give enough encouragement and affirmation? Do we give more than we get? Do we seek more to listen and understand rather than set rules and so be it? Are we trusted and reliable friends or are we just friends when we can benefit from the friendship? Do you prioritize people or material things?

We all want to be successful, but it’s also important to consider who you will be celebrating your life’s successes with! Nourish your Relationship seeds. You will be grateful for it later in life.

  • Relationship with God. 

I am in my mid-30’s and it is embarrassing for me to admit that I have not read the whole Bible. I know that having a deeper spiritual relationship with God is knowing Him more. And the only way for me to get to know Him is to read other people’s account of Him thru the Scriptures.

Like many others, I know about God, but I did not know Him. I’m still a baby in my walk as a Christian. But I’m trying to have this closer relationship with Him now. I still fail most of the time, God is very patient with me. I delight in knowing that He’s mg Father and He loves me and He’s always just a prayer away. (Isn’t it amazing how we can just talk to Him whenever we want, wherever we want?)

Because I know that God loves me, I can love myself and accept even my undesirable traits.
Because I know that God loves me at my darkest, it is easier for me to love, understand and forgive others.

Get to know God. I know you will like Him a lot! 🙂

nina-feb

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Did you missed the First Seed? Read it here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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A Blog Worth Sharing #11: STICKY NOTE QUOTES

Hello Everyone!

It’s time for me to share another blog again that I feel is worth your visit. 🙂 Allen Kive is fairly new to blogging, but I like his thought-process and his creative way.

He’s written only 4 posts  so far (the 5th is my blog nomination for him); but I’ve got my 2 thumbs up for him! Please visit Allen’s blog and I promise you that you will enjoy reading what’s on his head. 🙂

Thank you Allen for deciding to share with us your rambling thoughts by creating your impressive blog! 

sticky-note-quote

BLOG NAME: STICKY NOTE QUOTES
POST TITLE: STICKY NOTE QUOTE # 3

“Have you ever watched someone put somebody else down, sometimes for seemingly no good reason. I know I’m guilty of having done this, as I’m sure most people are as well. When I question my motives for doing so, I find that it isn’t that I genuinely want to hurt the other person’s feelings, or make them feel or look bad, instead, it’s done for the purpose of making myself look better. Although, it seems like a stupid reason for making others look bad (and it is), I find myself doing it relatively often…”

nina-feb

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Let’s Plant Life Seeds!- Seed#1:DREAM

There are 5 things things in life that we know are important, but do not treat with much importance. You see, simply knowing is useless until what we know is applied and manifested in our behavior or actions.

Let me give you 2 simple facts:

1. OUR TIME ON EARTH IS LIMITED. The average life expectancy of a person is 78.8 years according to CDC (Center for Disease Control and Prevention)

2. WHAT YOU PLANT IN YOUR EARLY YEARS, YOU WILL REAP IN YOUR LATER YEARS.

Some people would see our life as a book, and we’re the authors.
For this time, I want us to picture our life as a garden and we’re the gardeners planting the seeds that we will reap later in our life.

For today, let’s talk about the first seed that we need to plant and I hope that you will ponder on it like I do. 🙂

S1-Dream.JPG

“For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you” -Jeremiah 29:11

I want to believe that God did not put us here on earth merely to exist. We have a purpose. And this purpose in embedded to us when we were born. Aren’t you wondering sometimes why people should have different personalities, interests & skills? Unlike other living creatures, we are the only ones who have unique preferences and potentials. Could they be clues to God’s plan for us? Could they be the hints to our purpose?

What is your Dream?
What skills are you good at that you also love doing?
How will you profit and how can you serve others with that dream?

I know I love to write.
And I also think that I have a skill in writing (please let me know otherwise so I’d immediately kill my delusion of becoming a writer right away!)
How will I profit from it? On the financial aspect, I do not know yet- but I know that it makes me happy, it nourishes my soul, it uplifts my spirit, and it also helps with my mental health.

When I started this blog, I planted my dream seed.

I also have a more personal dream. I dream of a happy family.
I want to stay in-love with my husband.
I want to have a closer connection with my daughter.
I want to have a close relationship with our family (our parents & siblings).

And so I plant seeds for this dream. From a simple ritual to making sure to kiss & hug to spending quality time- one on one and as a family.  We’re not a perfect family (believe me when I say we do have our fare share of disagreements and fights) but we  do our best to do daily acts of love and have fun together.

I read from a book that “If you want to keep your family home, make it a happy home.”

What are your dreams and heart’s desires? What do you do or have done to make it your reality?

 

nina-feb

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Relationships Matter

According to studies, one of the things that makes a good life is having good relationship with other people. Being in a warm, loving, and protective relationship does not only make us happier, but it also makes us healthier because it helps prevent us from acquiring chronic diseases that are caused by loneliness and stress.

However, not all relationships are healthy and happy. They could be messy, complicated, or even toxic. Good relationships are not worked out overnight. They need to be tended in order to flourish.

Here are some tips to develop good quality relationships:
1. Communicate– express what you think and feel. Do not assume that other people could read what’s on your mind. Not all people are expert on body language so it’s best to communicate verbally, otherwise you risk being misinterpreted or worse, being unnoticed.

2.Acknowledge– show that you appreciate your partners, children or friends. There is no such thing as silent gratitude. You have to let people know when they did something that made you happy. It will not only reinforce good behavior, but more importantly, they will feel valued and worthy. So catch them at their best and be generous in giving well-deserved praises!

3.Do not Police– Don’t wait for other people to commit mistakes and reprimand like a police officer. If you care about the person, let them be aware of their destructive behavior before it gets worse. This will show them that you care.

4. Accept– Accept that other people are not perfect and so are you. There will always be instances when they could hurt you, or YOU HURT THEM. But always remember that you love them more! So be quick to say sorry and to forgive, and always remind yourself to forget!

5.Be Playful– Do not take things too seriously. When I was in college, I had this mantra for myself: “All problems have solutions. If it doesn’t have a solution, it’s not a problem! So I will not bother…” Learn to laugh at your mistakes and have fun in each other’s company!

People are special. We all need to feel that we are special so let’s start treating each other one! 🙂

(photo source)


Written on: June 07, 2016

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Can We Love the Unlovable?

Can we love the people who hate us?
Can we show affection and compassion to the people who hurt and curse us?
Can we be kind to the person  who’d be the first to celebrate when we’re dead?
Can we really love the unlovable?

The answer is NO. If it will only be for our own effort, I don’t believe that there would be a single person who’d openly say  “Yes, I love the person who makes my life miserable!”

The truth is, it is our faith in God that will enable us to love radically.

Jesus’ greatest challenge to us is to love our enemies. To do good to those who hate us. To bless those who curse us. And to pray for those who mistreat us. (Luke 6:27)

Perhaps, our mind is now saying “Sure. Easier said than done.”

BUT Jesus did not just gave us this command. He did not just say, love and forgive those who mistreat you. He also taught us HOW.

According to the Scriptures in Luke 6:38, ” Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

The way that I understand this, it is telling us that how we treat people will eventually help change the way that they treat us. If I become nicer to the person who is mean to me, perhaps there would be a greater likelihood that he or she too will become a little nicer to me, when he or she will see that I am sincere. If I treat them with kindness without any pretensions every time we have an encounter, I think it is not impossible for them to have a change of hearts toward me.

I have learned that sometimes our physiology affects our psychology. It is like the principle of “mind over matter” except that this is pertaining to our feelings following our actions.

If we keep doing loving gestures and  acts of kindness to people who treats us otherwise, sooner or later we will develop the feeling of love for them.

Of course this is not automatic. It does not happen overnight. And if you’ve read my previous posts this month, I cannot stress enough the fact that Love is a decision, a choice, and commitment.

I dare you to challenge God. Why don’t you do what He says and let us know how it’ll turn out! 🙂

nina-feb

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Have Fun When You Can

You don’t stop having fun when you get old.
You get old when you stop having fun.- Anonymous

When is the last time that you did something that you really enjoyed…something that made you lose track of the time?

I believe that doing something fun is one of the easiest way to show some love for your self. Be it as simple as reading your favorite book or arduous like learning a new skill that you like.

Here are some of the things that I do for fun other than blogging. Yep! This is all me… I’m the one holding the guitar (camera shy), that’s my coloring book in the middle, and my favorite headphone! 🙂

Things I do for fun.JPG

Here’s one of the songs that I really enjoy listening to. Enjoy! 🙂

(Video taken from YouTube)

Have fun when you can. Your soul will thank you for it!

nina-feb

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Know Yourself to be Happy

 

“When you know yourself you are empowered. When you accept yourself you are invincible.” ~ Tina Lifford

Do you ever wonder why sometimes, we find ourselves lonely despite our so-called achievements and success? I can think of one reason- because we don’t know who we are. We don’t know what exactly we want in life and we don’t know our purpose. This is why we feel lost and unfulfilled. No wonder even the most successful or wealthy people find themselves being depressed or suicidal.

I strongly believe that to be genuinely happy, we need to know ourselves. We have to figure out what we want so that we can focus and direct our energy and time to that purpose, and not go around wasting another minute of our lives doing the things that don’t give meaning to us.

So why don’t we try to sit down for a while and talk to ourselves as if we are talking to a friend… “What do we like to do?”,  “Can we share that with other people?”, “Would they benefit from it?”,  “Would You benefit from it?”, “Will that make a positive impact in their lives?

If your answer is YES to all these, then start figuring out what can you do NOW in order for you to do what you want to do. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a major step…baby steps are fine, for as long as you are acting on it. Believe me, even the “process” or “journey” itself is enough to change that feeling of loneliness into happiness.

I say good luck to getting to know yourselves and I hope you’ll find joy in discovering your life’s purpose.

Have a happy and meaningful life! =)

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Written: May 26, 2016

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Be the Master of Your Emotions

Hello Everyone! 🙂

Let’s do something fun today!

I read this very inspiring quote from Og Mandino  and I thought why not make a good exercise out of it and make it our inspiration for the day!

So, I’ve deleted the end of the phrases and put my own answers. 🙂

How do I change?

If I feel depressed I will offer some time to help others.

If I feel sad I will think of happy times and smile.

If I feel ill I will put on my best clothes (and sneakers! yeah!).

If I feel fear I will pretend to be secret superhero =P

If I feel inferior I will remind myself that I know some things that others most likely do not know.

If I feel uncertain I will fake it ’til I make it.

If I feel poverty I will trust in the Lord’s providence and let go of worries.

If I feel incompetent I will remind myself of my past achievements especially for THAT one time (sorry guys, I’ll keep it my little secret for now =)

If I feel insignificant I will think of people who have appreciated me for showing them kindness at certain points in their lives.

Today I will be the master of my emotions.

I had a really fun time doing this! Now it’s your turn to fill-in the blanks. I hope you’ll enjoy as much as I did and more importantly, remind yourself to be the Master of Your Emotions today!

nina-feb

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5 Ways to Love Yourself More

“If you don’t love yourself in the right way, you can’t love your neighbor. You can’t be as good as you are supposed to be.”-Joel Osteen

  • I want you to imagine how you would like someone to love you… For sure, you’d want them to accept you whole-heartedly. You’d want them to affirm you, to be proud of your accomplishments, and to push you to continue to grow and be a better person. You’d want them to forgive you and give you another chance. You’d want them to tell you how beautiful a person you are. And definitely, you don’t want them to drag you down with their negativities. Wouldn’t it be nice if there is someone who could do that? What if I tell you there is- and has always been there. Yes, you guess it- I am referring to YOU.

I could give you 3 reasons why we must love ourselves.

  • Because God loves us as His sons and daughters, and we are beautiful in our own unique way.
  • Because we are able to love more, and share the best of our selves when we are at our best .
  • Because we only have one Self- so why not treat it the best we can, right?

Here are 5 Ways that we could love ourselves:

1. Greet yourself with happiness & affection.
When you wake up each day and look in the mirror, smile at the person who’s looking straight back at you. Tell him or her “Gosh, you’re so gorgeous today! You’re going to have a wonderful day and you’ll do great!”
When you put your mindset in a positive state at the start of your day, you’re attracting positive energies and you will most likely feel nicer and experience a good day.

2. Be compassionate with your self.
Don’t be too harsh or critical to your self. If you fail on a certain task, it’s okay (unless somebody else dies because of it, which I highly doubt!). Treat each mistake as lesson to be learned. If right now, all you can see are the negatives in you- switch your lens and review the things that you did right and the things you did that ýmade other people happy.

When I’m starting to hate myself for feeling like I am not being a good mom because I stay late in the office, I do a flashback and recall the other good things that I did or do- like teaching and guiding Gaby in her assignments, spending some time playing and just having fun with her before I put her to sleep in the afternoon, cooking her new meals, etc… This is not a way to justify a certain action but rather, it’s being mindful of our imperfect human condition and having that understanding with ourselves.

According to science research, “Self-compassionate people are better able to accept who they are regardless of the degree of praise they receive from others. In addition, people who are high in self-compassion are no more likely to be narcissistic than people low in self-compassion.”

3. Nurture your self & your need.
Nurturing ourselves means taking care of ourselves by attending to our needs, in order to be healthy in the different aspects of our well-being.
For instance, if your body is shouting for help physically- then make the effort to exercise, get 8 hours sleep & drink plenty of water. If your mind keeps bothering you because it needs upgrading- then learn new skills or improve what you already know. Enroll or have someone teach you to do things that you are passionate about. If your soul is crying for help- seek to have a deeper relationship with God, meditate, love and serve other people, show more kindness to others.

4. Set your boundaries.
Don’t let emotional vampires take advantage of you and drag you down in their spiraling hole of negativities. As much as possible, avoid surrounding yourself with people who constantly whine, people who are best in blaming others or situations, and people who cannot take accountability. Be with the ones with lighter dispositions and those who you would like yourself to be associated with. As the old saying goes, “birds of the same feathers flock together.”

Learn to say No. It is not your job to say yes to every favor asked of you. Know that not because everybody else do it does it mean that you have to. Just remember that whenever you say Yes to others, you are not saying No to yourself.

5. Invest yourself in happy relationships.
Are your relationships giving you ùpositive influence? They should be providing you a sense of self-worth, self-fulfillment, and self-assurance. Involve yourself in happy relationships that allow you to be you without being judged. Choose to be in relationships where you and the others in it are growing in love!

Make it your business to love your Self first. I agree with the person who  said that “you are so worth your time and attention“. Besides, it will be easier for you to love others and for others to love you when you do love your own Self. 🙂

nina-feb

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I believe in Happy Endings

I have been married to my husband for 8 years and just like many wives, I too wish to have a lasting marriage.

However, I will admit to you that there were times when I thought that I made a mistake in choosing the right husband for me. There were times when I hated him more than I love him. There were times when I thought about leaving him because I didn’t feel loved and appreciated… but I THANK GOD THAT I DID NOT.

So, is there really a “lived happily ever after” when two lovers get married?

I know 8 years of being married is not long enough to be such an expert person in the subject matter of relationship and love- and I must admit, I am always learning. But please let me share with you what I have learned on how to make relationships work and I hope that these would be helpful to you too.

1. Once the feeling of being-in love is gone, real love begins.

What do I mean with this? After the period of cheesy, mushy, heavenly feeling of falling and feeling in love with someone, you will start to see the things that you do not necessarily like with the other person.

The girlfriend you appreciated for looking good when you go out on a date is now the annoying wife who takes hours in the bathroom to get herself fixed.

The boyfriend you were proud of for being smart and dependable is now the irritating husband who always nags when he sees something that is out of tune.

I believe this true to every relationship. After the heightened emotion of being in-love is over, we get back to reality. And the reality is that you and your partner are not perfect. But we need to accept this fact, otherwise, we only jump from one relationship to another. And so we need to decide and commit to stay in love.

I realize that Love is not a feeling, but rather, Love is hard work. When I come to accept this, it became easier for me to deal and worked on the imperfections of our relationship.

2. You need to discover the love language of your partner to be able to show love.

This is probably the biggest relationship-changer for me. You see, I was like other people. I thought that the way I want to be loved is also how my husband want to be loved. Was I ever so wrong in my life.

According to Dr. Gary Chapman, there are 5 Languages of Love. These 5 languages are different ways to show love to a person, and each person has their own primary love language- the way for them to feel that they are loved.

The 5 languages of love are:
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch

A person who has Words of Affirmation as love language will feel very much loved when he is always told “I love You”, “I appreciate what you do”, “You’re doing a great Job!”, “I love how you did this…”, “Thank you for doing this..”

A person who has Quality Time as language of love may appreciate these words of affirmation, but may not necessarily feel loved when his spouse is not spending time talking to him, or when they aren’t going out on a date. He feels much more loved when he is in the company of his loved one with undivided attention.

You see,  for years  I and my husband have been showing love in the wrong language. I didn’t know that his love language is “Acts of Service” and he didn’t know that mine is “Quality Time”.

Since I go to work, I leave most of the house chore to our helper so I could spend more time taking care of our daughter when I’m at home. I didn’t know that I could show my husband that I love him if I just make him his coffee, prepare his meals, or trim his nails (now please don’t judge, I have a different love language!) I did little act of service for him. I could just imagine how little love he must have felt from me.

At the same time, I didn’t feel that much appreciated and loved too since we seldom go on dates- just the two of us. We always go out as a whole family. We go out of town to visit relatives or be with friends, but not alone together as couple. He showed love thru the language he knows- he washes the dishes when the helper is not around, he fixes our bed, he pays the bills- but all these things didn’t speak love to me. Perhaps now you see the disaster! We both love each other and express it in ways that do not speak love to us!

I shared this discovery to my husband and we made adjustments almost instantly. Now we feel much more loved by each other and we are happier definitely! 🙂

3. Love is a choice.
We are humans and we make mistakes. Our partners may do or say things that hurt us. We may fall short of expectations. We may disappoint one another. And we may even hate each other sometimes. But we always have a choice. We can choose to forgive and move on or dwell in past failures and allow hurt to continue to wound us. We can choose to listen and see things in our partners’ perspectives to be able to understand, or refuse to seek understanding. We may choose to stick thru thick and thin, or leave when the going gets tough.

I choose LOVE. I choose to love my imperfect husband like he chooses to love his imperfect wife. I will choose to always forgive him. I will choose to always have hope for him. Just like Jesus loves and forgives us. Together we will do our best to make sure that our marriage will have the “Happily Ever After” ending.

wedding pic.JPG

nina-feb

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Posted in Psychology, Relationships

Why Falling In Love is Not Real Love

If I were to be asked the best thing that could happen to a person, my answer would be to feel loved. I bet many of us have enjoyed the experience of falling in love. But what if I tell you falling in love is not real love ?

Before I tell you why. Let us see what Falling In Love is…

  • Falling in love comes naturally.

You see the other person, you get attracted- you heart beats fast, you can think of nothing else but him or her. You’ve got butterflies on your stomach. You’re on cloud-nine whenever you’re together. You don’t decide when and to whom. You just feel it. Sometimes we even fall in love to the person we least expect to fall in love with. Moreover, you also cannot force your self to fall in love. No matter how much you want, you cannot just make it happen.

  • Falling in love is effortless.

Whatever we do when we fall in love is not difficult to do. Sometimes, we spend money on dates, but it’s okay as long as we’re having dinner with our beloved. We fly to the other side of the world, but it’s okay as long as we could be with our partner even if it’s only for a few hours. You may skip basketball games with your peers because you have to go with her on a tree planting activity. OR you will pass on salon day with your best friend because you will watch him play baseball. ALL these things will be effortless. It doesn’t require much will-power.

  • Falling in love is finding your perfect match, and feeling in love forever.

You finally meet the perfect guy or girl who completes you. He/she is everything you’re looking for in a partner. You just know the he/she is THE ONE for you. You will never look at another person again.

Falling in love is an experience of temporary emotional high. It will not last long enough to sustain a happy relationship.

LOVE will. So, if falling in love is not real love. What is Real LOVE?

As a matter of fact, Real Love requires what is not present in falling in love.

  • Real Love requires Decision.

Sometimes, we hate the person we love but does it mean we stop loving them? No. You still make coffee for your husband in the morning even if you’re mad at him for not mowing the lawn. You still drive your wife to work even if you’re pissed because she forgot to pay the electric bill. Love is a Choice.

  • Real Love requires Effort.

Sometimes, we don’t want to do things but because we love, we exert effort and still do them.

A tired and sleepy mom would still wake up in the middle to the night to feed their baby. A father who worked overnight will still wake up very early in the morning to drive the children in school. You don’t know how to cook but your spouse loves home-cooked meal so you learn the art of cooking and be the best food engineer! That is love.

  • Real Love requires Commitment.

The person you love may hurt you, annoy you, make you angry, make you jealous, belittle you, or disrespect you…but if you’re committed, you will always remind your self to love them in spite and despite of. Does it mean you have to just take in and tolerate the negatives? Nope… there is a thing called Tough Love!

In addition, there will always be a time when you will find another person who is better than your spouse or partner in one or more criteria. Again, we have to remind ourselves to be committed & choose to stay in our relationships.

LOVE works with Hard Work in order to survive obstacles. Loving is simple BUT it is not always easy. Nonetheless, the reward is always worth 10 times more the effort! 🙂

nina-feb

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Posted in Life & Wellness, Positive Thinking, Relationships

Life is good when there is Love

“Where there is Love, there is Life”- Mahatma Ghandi

There are many things in life that I simply love.

I love reading a good book… I love listening to soothing music… I love coloring my book… I love drinking coffee… I love cooking for my family… I love my movie dates and dinners with hubby… I love stargazing and cloud-watching with my daughter… I love hugs and flowers… I love going out of town…I love a lot more other things…

BUT I made a discovery and found out another thing that I love which for is really sweet and gives me so much more satisfaction. It is something that really melts my heart and you would not guess what it is.

I love combing my mom’s hair.

Yes, it’s downright simple happiness for me.

As I gently comb my mom’s hair, I feel nothing but great love and respect for her. I know more than 30 years ago, she was the one combing my hair with such great care.

My mom loves me and my 3 other siblings very much and I know she does up until now that we have our own family. Her love and care for us never ceased. In fact, she also shows the same affection to her grandkids and treat our spouses like her own children.

So every time I do an act of service for her, my heart delights on it- every second of it!

Whenever we get the chance to be together as family, I realize how my mom and my dad are also getting older… That’s a reality that I can do nothing about. I can’t freeze time and wish that we could all just stay as we are at this present time. No- that is impossible. BUT LIFE IS GOOD.

Life is good because we have a technology that allow us to see each other as if we’re in the same place. Everyday they get to see their grandkids grow up. No matter the distance, we can be there for each other when we need to. We do not feel that we’re alone.

Life is good simply because every day is an opportunity to make people in our lives happy. Every day, I get the chance to tell them that I love them. Life is good because there is LOVE.

nina-feb

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Posted in Life & Wellness, Motivational, Positive Thinking

It is OK to say NO!

“When you say ‘Yes’ to Others, make sure you are not saying ‘No’ to Yourself.”- Paulo Coelho

Usually, we look for things that would make us happy. Sometimes, we forget that another way to be happy is to eliminate the things or reject the people who makes us unhappy.

We put up with people because we consider them friends or they are part of the family. We listen to them whine about their misfortunes, cry over heartbreaks to the nth time, or vent their anger and frustrations. We become the sponge who absorb their negativity.

There are times when we can not reject a favor requested by our boss or a work colleague simply because we are just too shy to say no, or we have this “image” that we want to maintain. There are things that we no longer like to do but keep doing them because they have been considered as traditions, or they have been part of a routine that started ever since no one can even remember!

If we do not learn how to say “No” to the things and to people who stress us out and make us uncomfortable, then we will always find ourselves in an unhappy situation. 

So, the next time someone approaches you to have you do something that you don’t like to do, just take a deep breath and then say NO. Remember that you don’t have to justify your answer for the sake of maintaining a “nice image”. 🙂


Date Written: June 27, 2016

 

 

 

 

Posted in Motivational, Positive Thinking

Free Yourself from Fear!

 

Forget Everything And Run, or Face Everything And Rise. It’s YOUR Choice!”- Anonymous

There are times in my life when I am scared to try a new thing just because I can’t imagine myself failing, even if I know deep inside me that I am going to be good at that certain thing. There are moments when I second-guess myself and doubt my own capabilities, fearing that I may badly hurt my self-esteem and may not recover from the blow.

However, I realized that whenever I do that— whenever I allow my fears to dictate my decisions and actions, I would only be wasting opportunities.  I would be throwing away my chances to succeed and thrive.

Fear is an illusion that our minds create to protect us from danger; but we should not allow it to disable us. Fear is NOT real.

So let us make the choice to overcome our fears and start believing that we can! If we fail, it is okay. WE CAN ALWAYS TRY AGAIN. Enjoy life everyone! =)

(photo source)


Written on: June 07, 2016

Posted in Motivational, Positive Thinking

Who Are You?

“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.” – Albert Schweitzer

There are 5 types of people in the world:

  1. Those who do not know what they want in life, and do nothing about it.
  2. Those who know what they want in life, but don’t know what to do to achieve it.
  3. Those who know what they want in life, know what to do but do nothing.
  4. Those who know what they want in life, know what to do, and do something about it – but inconsistently (by the way, they are also the ones who easily gives up!)
  5. Those who know what they want in life, and do everything they can in their power to achieve it.

My friends, to be happy, it is not enough that one must know what he or she wants in life. It is important to DO something about it.

God has given us resources. All we need to do is use them! 🙂

(Photo Source)


Date Written: August 16, 2016

Posted in Life & Wellness, Motivational, Psychology

Take the Driver’s Seat!

“Either You Run the Day or the Day Runs You”- Jim Rohn

They say that life is a journey. If that’s the case, I say Congratulations! That makes you an automatic driver! Now, if you’re a good driver, you’re definitely going to make it to your destination. BUT if you’re a lousy driver, you might get hit and hurt, (or do that to another “driver”) and you’re on your way to total disaster.

So, lets get familiarized with some of life’s traffic lights and signs before you go hit the road!

  • STOP:

We live in a fast-paced environment where every second count and everyone is in a hurry. If you think we accomplish more by being always on the go, think again. We all need to take a break, otherwise we get burnt-out.  Also, when we’re always rushing through life, we missed out opportunities. Life is supposed to be enjoyed, not endured. It’s nice to pause once in a while and smell the roses too.

  • READY & GO:

Be ready for life by equipping your self with the right attitude. Remember that your life is how you make it. Help your self attain success by breaking down your major goals into tiny goals that you can achieve. Be aware that there will be “road blocks”, and know that you only fail if you don’t try to overcome them. Think positive and believe in what you can do!

  • PITSTOP:

When  you are not feeling good, you have to do a “Self-check”. Revisit the different aspects of your life and see how you are doing physically, mentally, emotionally, & spiritually. Normally, if we are bothered or feeling something unpleasant, it is our Self telling us that we need to change something in us.

  • U-TURN:

Reflect on previous experience. Be it good or bad, there is always something worth remembering. Even Albert Einstein said that “The only source of knowledge is Experience.”

  • DETOUR:

Sometimes, unexpected and even unpleasant things happen. It is during this occasions that we need to be brave, to go out of our comfort zones, and take risks. We should rise to the challenge and respond to the opportunity that is  given to us!

Enjoy your journey and drive safely! 🙂

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Date Written: June 30, 2016

Posted in Life & Wellness, Motivational, Positive Thinking

Today will be Better!

“I wake up every morning believing today is going be better than yesterday.”             -Will Smith

Have you ever experienced waking up so refreshed, full of energy and high-spirited, but so stressed and worn-out at the end of the day? I admit that I do too, sometimes- during those times when I forget that I can be in control.

You see, people wake up everyday in an auto-pilot mode. We do the same stuff that we do, and we usually treat situations almost the same as we always do. As a result, we experience more or less the same things. Unfortunately, we also experience the not-so-favorable things because we usually let others dictate and influence how we will act.

Here’s a good fact: We have the power to be in-charge and we can choose how to run this day!

Let me share with you some tips that works well with me.

1. Appreciate that you are given one more day to live. Treat it a little more special by doing something extraordinary or unusual.

2. Decide that it will be a good day, and commit your actions to support that decision. This mindset will greatly influence the way that you react to things.

3. Let go of the thoughts that does not make you strong. Don’t dwell on previous negative experience nor stress out on the things that will not happen.

4. When you make a mistake, don’t be hard on your self. Every mistake is an opportunity to grow wiser, stronger, and better. As my previous boss used to tell me before when I make an error, “It’s okay, nobody died!”

5. Before you retire, replay in your mind what happened today.
Savor the good things, and then analyze this: What could you have done differently to make this day much better? The good news is, you can always make tomorrow better than today.

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Date Written: June 28, 2016

Posted in Inspirational, Positive Thinking

To be Happy, be Grateful

“The root of joy is gratefulness…It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful.”- David Steindl-Rast

One of the things that many unhappy people have in common is their failure to see the good in a bad circumstance or situation…The problem is not really their inability to get what they want, but rather it is the lack of appreciation to the things that they already have. So how can we fix this?- by having a grateful heart.

I believe that gratitude contributes a lot to a person’s happiness. It boosts optimism and positivism. You see, unlike the pessimistic who sees the thorns on a rose, the grateful person sees the lovely rose on the thorns. The negative person sees the heartaches and headaches of the trying times, but the grateful person sees every moment as an opportunity, including the moment of difficulties- since he knows that it is during times of struggles that our faith &  strengths are tested. The grateful person says thank you for the tough times because he sees it as opportunity to know his weaknesses and learns from the experience.

People who are grateful are happier because they can see that both good and bad experience is a gift of blessing. Hence, they have a larger appreciation for life.They are happier because it is easier for them to find joy in small things. They delight in the simple pleasures of life.

If we have a grateful attitude, we will never fail to find a reason to be thankful for everyday.  If you think you ran out of reason, all you have to do is stop, pause a moment and look at the world around you. Look up and thank God for the sun that’s keeping us warm. Smell the flowers and be at awe of their beauty. Close your eyes and feel the wind on your face. Listen to your heartbeat and be thankful that you’re alive.

Today, I am making my personal commitment to start and end each day of my life with gratitude… a free ticket to a happier life!

(photo source)


Date Written: May 26, 2016

Posted in Inspirational, Positive Thinking

What I learned from Children

I would define CHILDREN as the happiest creatures in the world. Oh, don’t you just envy their enthusiasm and high-spirits!

happy children

In my pondering, I realize that there are really some great things that we can learn from them- the actual simple reasons why they are always happy.

Here we go…

#1: Children love unconditionally.

They don’t have any hidden motives or agenda. They don’t say “I love you IF you are…”, or “I love you WHEN you…”…they just simply love for the mere fact of loving someone.

I remember one time when my daughter, Gaby told me that she loves me. I asked her why and I was astonished with her response: “Because I am happy with you.” My heart just melts with joy every time I remember that.

#2: Children apologize and forgive easily.

Unlike adults, children don’t hold grudges. They get angry and fight, but they make up easily and then forget about what happened– as if it never happened at all. There’s no wonder why most adults are bitter– ’cause we usually fool ourselves by forgiving but not forgetting.

#3: Children live in the present moment.

They don’t worry about tomorrow, nor dwell in the past. They are enjoying living the PRESENT! On the contrary, most adults can’t let go of their past experiences and they are always busy planning about the future and they missed out the opportunities that the present hold.

#4: Children don’t complicate things.

Things are simple for them. There are no “gray areas”. They only know the Right & Wrong. and the Good & Bad– not the “somewhat right” or “wrong only if…”

#5: They laugh their hearts out and they have fun a lot!

#6: They are easily pleased and find joy in simple things.

Just compare the response that you get when you give a candy or ice cream to a child and to an adult. 🙂

#7:  They don’t lie about how they feel.

Children let you know when they are upset or happy. They do not hide their emotions. Now when you ask an adult if there is something wrong, what is the common response? Most often than not, they say “I’m Fine” even if they’re not. So the negative emotions or feelings dwells in their hearts until the time when they would just explode!

#8: Children love being hugged and kissed a lot; and they are generous in giving hugs and kisses!

#9: Children are curious and loves to learn new things.

It boosts their self-esteem when they get to learn something, and this gives them happiness. Unfortunately, most adults have the tendency to become complacent and idle.

#10: Children know what they like and they don’t like.

If you ask a child what he or she wants, you get an answer right away… why is it that when we ask ourselves what we want, it is as if we’re answering a trigonometry equation?

Now, who says only adults can teach? 🙂

(Photo Credits: cliparts.co, parentingwithunderstanding.com)


Date Written: May 26, 2016

Posted in Blogging

Away On Vacation

Hello Everyone!

I will need to take some time off blogging to take care of some important things. I will definitely miss writing and reading your posts but hopefully, I will get back sooner than later. You might still see me responding to comments or liking your posts every once in a while when I get the chance, and I may re-publish some of my previous posts so you won’t forget about me, LOL! 🙂

I’ll miss you all! Take care and God bless!

nina-feb